Dr. Erin

By: Patricia Hood

Aaron had just finished his last quarter of classes before he began his
internship as a counselor. He looked forward to beginning a new life and
getting started with his career. It had been several weeks and he had still not
heard back from any of his contacts. While looking through a Psychiatric
magazine he noticed a small advertisement for counselors at a very exclusive
rest home. Hattenburg Hospital/ Ritensburg Sweden: Wanted: Research
assistant/Counselor needed. Successful applicant must speak English, and be
FIS+ and knowledgeable in this field of counseling. For further information
call (503) 555-1264.

Aaron tried to do some research on the abbreviation, but could find no
mention of "FIS" in any of his reference books. "Why do they want the
counselor to have FIS... what ever that is?". With his curiosity at a peak he
made the call. The phone number was a US. number but the person on the
other end spoke with a thick accent... probably German. After speaking at
length, about his counseling credentials, they notified him of a review
process that would take place in Canada. They would make the airline
reservations if he was interested. Aaron was so excited that he agreed and
gave them his information over the phone. They told him to be sure and bring
his papers with him, and to make sure he had no pressing business. He was
also told to obtain a passport because if he was accepted they would require
him to fly directly to Ritensburg.

He could hardly believe it. He set about obtaining the necessary releases and
Visa he would need. The review was to be in 3 weeks and he was given a
name at the Swedish Embassy to contact to speed up the passport process.
He was also sent an airline ticket and an expense voucher in the mail. Aaron
didn't have much in the way of furniture, and he could easily get out of his
apartment if he needed to. Every thing came together nicely.... until the day
of his departure. When he arrived at the airport he ran into a small snag... it
took several minutes to hash out with the ticket agent that a mistake had been
made on his reservation. The name on the ticket was Erin Brown instead of
Aaron. Convinced that it was just a simple mistake....he was on his way.

The accommodations in Ontario were lavish. A large suite in an up scale
Hotel. He was to be there for 3 days for the review process. The review was
taking place over the course of 2 weeks. Several applicants would be
screened. All of them were kept separate from one another and Aaron never
even saw any of the others. Finally he was called to come to a local hospital
for his medical evaluation. Aaron was embarrassed at having to undress for
the doctor. The doctor was an imposing woman 6ft tall if she was an inch,
with short blond hair. She had a friendly smile, but Aaron was always more
than a little self conscious of his thin body. Even though the others he had
met spoke fair English, it was obvious that the Dr. did not. The first thing she
did was to draw a blood sample. This was quickly followed by a body
measurement. The tape quickly went around several parts of his body...
including his upper arm, neck and chest. As she measured his thin upper arm
she smiled.... "Ist Good", she said. For the remainder of the examination
Aaron wondered what she meant by that. After all was finished he was sent
down to a review board. They spent a great deal of time asking some very
personal questions. In the end he wondered if he had gotten the job... they
seemed so demanding, he thought.

Aaron didn't have too long to wait for the answer. Only about 20 minutes had
passed before the phone rang back at his hotel room. He recognized the voice
of the doctor on the other end. She said in broken English "Congratulations,
you have just been accepted as our prime candidate for the position. Please
pack up your few things and report back to the hospital at 8 AM tomorrow
morning. You won't be returning to the hotel so make sure you don't leave
anything behind. Good day Erin". "What was that", Aaron thought, "did she
say Erin??? Ahh, it must have been her accent". Suddenly he was wrapped
up in the thought of having won the job and felt elated at the prospect of
beginning a new life in Europe. Aaron didn't sleep well that night, his head
full of thoughts of his new job, so when the alarm finally rang at 6:30 he was
feeling pretty beat. He managed to grab a quick shower and threw his things
into his suitcase haphazardly and snapped it shut. He caught the hotel shuttle
to the hospital and prepared himself mentally for the day ahead. When he
arrived at the hospital he was greeted by the same doctor that had examined
him the day before. She grabbed him by the hand and started down the
hallway saying " come with me, we must make you ready for your journey to
Ritensburg and there is much we must do before then." She propelled him
down the various hallways and corridors until they finally arrived in what
looked like a medium sized laboratory in a secluded section of the hospital.
When they stopped in the middle of the room the doctor went back to the
door to shut and lock it, and for the first time Aaron got a good look at the
doctor and noticed why she was so tall. She was wearing at least 4" high
heels which were kept in place by 2 tiny locks on the straps around her
ankles. She was, Aaron noticed, very shapely also with a tiny waist. He
wondered what kind of doctor she actually was. He could think of a few
things He'd like to be treated for at that moment. The doctor returned to stand
in front of Aaron with her hand on her hips and told him he needed to remove
his clothing again for further inspection and to 'clean' him up for the trip to
Ritensburg. Aaron was a bit apprehensive now that he had noticed the
doctors great looks but he wanted this job badly and didn't want to cause any
problems so he stripped down to his birthday suit like he was told. She
walked around him looking him up and down saying "Yes, I think we've
made a very good choice after all." Next she went to one of the cabinets and
removed a small jar which she then handed to Aaron. She instructed him to
rub the cream inside the jar all over his body in a relatively even coating. She
told him that it was a depilatory cream and that it was necessary to remove all
of his body hair in order to avoid transporting any infectious agents into the
Hattensburg hospital as it was always a sterile environment. Aaron again
reluctantly agreed, after all, what did he know about European hospital
standards??? He applied the cream as he was instructed and it began to itch
almost immediately. The doctor assured him it would be over in just a few
minutes and it really was necessary. After what seemed like an hour, but it
was only 10 minutes, he was instructed to enter the shower stall in the corner
of the lab and wash off the cream and all his body hair with it. Aaron was
surprised at how smooth his body felt with all the hair removed from it. He
kind of liked it actually. But he was wondering if there were any other
preparations they would have to make before his trip.

Things went rather quickly after that. He was given 2 injections and taken to
the airport. He was met there by another female doctor who was to be his
escort. A service had prepared his passport for him and he was handed the
papers. His hand went to his face. He loved the way it felt with it completely
smooth and he wondered how long it would take before he would have to
shave again. Aaron was much too tired to be very talkative on the 9hr flight,
but he couldn't help but feel that something had changed. Once they landed, it
was a short drive to Rittensburg. It was a lovely hospital set on rolling
grounds. He was shown his room, and given a quick tour of the facility.
Then it was time for more paperwork. The examiner was the same doctor that
had been his escort. Her name was Tatiana Falco... everyone called her Dr. F
or Miss F. "I need you to sign this.. It is a conformation that you agree with
the diagnosis of FIS", she said. Aaron looked over the papers, but they were
in Swedish. He was afraid this would happen. With a lump in his throat he
signed the papers. "Now, these are the papers outlining our course of
treatment... a copy in English is provided at the back". He began to read it,
but it was long and legal. He quickly looked over it.. Seeing that Dr. Falco
was growing impatient, he signed and handed it to her. "It is our belief here
that all our councilors should go through the entire process in order to fully
understand how best to help our patients deal with their treatment.... don't
you agree?", she asked. Aaron looked at her and nodded. "Good", she
replied. "Sign here and we will be finished for the day". Aaron looked at the
paper. It was a commitment form. He was agreeing to a commitment of
6months of treatment for FIS... according to the treatment outline of the
hospital. "Is 6 months really necessary?", he asked. She was stern when she
looked back at him. "We have found that to be the minimum for full
treatment". Aaron couldn't believe he was actually doing this... but he signed
and handed the papers back. "Wonderful Erin... welcome aboard". This
didn't make him feel much better. He took the English copy with him to his
room and read it over that night. As he read he felt sick.... "FIS: Feminine
Identity Syndrome".... "Oh my god... they think I want to be a girl....", he
cried out loud. I have to do something about this. He was shaking... all the
offices were closed for the day now. Very nervous he picked up the
phone.... no dial tone and got only as far as the front desk receptionist who
only spoke Swedish. He began reading again to try to find a way out.
According to the papers he signed the treatment for FIS was feminization.
After a person entered the hospitals treatment program, full co-operation was
demanded of them. If full co-operation was given the patient could be out in 6
months. If it was not given.. .. "No, they wouldn't", he said aloud. He had
to put the paper aside for a moment to gather his thoughts. Then he read
further, "It is our desire to force the subject to face his/her feminine self. If
the subject is co-operative we assume the patient is dealing with this on
his/her own. If the subject is un co-operative a series of 4 operations are set
up to act as both a confidence builder, and as a permanent reminder of the
feminine self". They can't be serious he thought. As he looked over the
document he realized that normally a patient would not be given this
information. He had access to it only because he was a councilor. He read
on. "To show an intent to co-operate with the staff the patient is told they
should elect the following operation: level 1) Facial tuning: Cosmetic
treatment of nose, cheeks and lips The patient has one month to decide to go
through with the operation. If they do, no further operations are deemed
necessary and a 5 month regime of training in feminine mannerisms begins.

If they do not make the desicion on their own within that time, the operation
is simply performed without their consent and the next level operation is
suggested to show a co-operative response.

Level 2) Throat: Vocal tuning, and cosmetic reduction of the Adams apple. If
this procedure is also refused, or goes unrequested for the same one month
period, the process of corrective operations continues through the next 2
levels. Level 3) Breast: Enhancement of the breast through implant and
hormone therapy.. And finally Level 4) Gender Reassignment: Emasculation,
Cosmetic creation of vagina through penile inversion, and full hormone
treatment. After level 4 the subject is kept under observation for one month to
ensure proper adjustment" "Surely there must be a way out of this", he said
aloud.

He was awakened the next day for his first counseling session. As soon as he
walked in he had a feeling he was in trouble. The Woman and Man behind
the desk took control of the situation imeadiatly. "When did you first cross
dress Erin?", the man asked in a thick accent. Aaron tried to change the
subject. "Just one thing before we begi... :", he started to say before he was
cut off. "Listen young lady", the Woman said, "we have a strict protocol here
that our patients must follow". The man just sat back and glared at Aaron. "If
you have a question you must wait for an appropriate moment in the
conversation and let me know". Aaron stared blankly back not knowing what
to say. "You then say Dr. F, I have a question", she continued, "do you
understand"? Aaron nodded his head. "When did you first cross dress" the
man repeated. Aaron thought about the time he had learned square dancing at
his Jr. High. There were not enough girls for partners so the teacher thought
it would be cute to bring some dresses to put over the boys clothes.... as he
was thinking about that a lump grew in his throat, "I can't tell them about that
can I?" he thought to himself. He realized this was going to be a long
morning.

When the questioning had ended he finally felt it was time that he could
speak. "Dr. F, I have a question", he said. Dr. Falco smiled at him, "what is
it dear"? Aaron tried to clear his mind of all the questions they had asked him
so he could regain his train of thought. He realized this was going to be a
tough argument. "When I first came here I didn't know what FIS was..."
Aaron spoke quickly. Dr. Falco's smile widened. "I don't think I have it.. . I
mean, I don't want to be a girl". Dr. Falco pondered this for a moment. After
a long pause she looked at him. "You are brilliant Erin, I hadn't thought of
the role playing aspect of this, but you have obviously given this quite a bit of
thought". "Oh no", Aaron thought. " She thinks I'm pretending to be just
another patient". "Well then Erin, you leave me no choice but to assign you to
level 1", she said. "No, you don't understand, I don't....", Aaron tried to get
out. He was cut off by the presence of a large orderly that had been
summoned into the room. They quickly ushered him out. His heart sank as
he heard the door close behind him. He realized that almost none of the staff
spoke English. That was in fact why they went to the US to recruit for the
position. Over the next few days he wrote several letters to the US Embassy
and to friends in the US to try to get him out of this, but he had no way of
knowing if the letters were getting through. One evening after taking his
evening tranquilizer he felt dizzy. When he lifted the lid on his food he found
only a note that read, "sleep well". He next awoke on an operating table. No
sooner did he open his eyes, a nurse in a surgical mask inserted something
into his mouth. "She has pretty eyes", Aaron thought to himself. He felt the
device in his mouth inflate and force his jaws apart and his tung down though
he could still breathe through a hole in the center of the device. A quick tug
confirmed his fears, he was in fact strapped to the table. Wrists, upper arms,
waist, thighs, and ankles. He was quite immobile. Aaron tried to speak, but
only odd muffled noises escaped his mouth. Dr. Falco leaned over him.
"Don't try to speak, I can't understand you". I allowed you to wake up so I
could explain some of the procedure to you", she continued. "Since you are
actually a willing participant in this after all", she smiled. "We will begin by
using a paint on mask to chemically disable your facial hair follicles. This will
take about 20 minutes. We will then use a little cosmetic surgery to narrow
your nose and raise your cheekbones". Aaron could only sit back in horror.
"I will then see what I can do to change your lip line a bit. I must tell you that
I plan on going a bit farther with you because of your special circumstance".
Aaron could not believe this. He saw the mask for the anaesthesia in the
nurse's hand. It was designed to secure to the gag in his mouth. He thrashed
as the nurse brought it close to his face. He felt another nurse pull his head
back to a rest built into the table. He gripped the side of the padding with both
hands as they inserted the two nasal tubes and secured the mask.

The next few weeks were difficult. Every inch of his face hurt for days after
the operation. After 3 weeks he was allowed to remove the bandages. He
looked like a battered wife. He couldn't believe the change in his facial
structure. Though not fully healed he spent almost an hour gazing into the
mirror at some womans face...his face.

Aaron went back to his papers.... "Level 2: Vocal tuning and reduction of the
Adams apple". He thought long about the decision but if this would keep
things from proceeding further he would do anything. In his next counseling
session he told Dr. Falco that he wanted to co-operate and sign up for level 2.
Dr. Falco looked at him and handed him some papers to sign. After signing
them she said, "We'll perform the operation tomorrow. Don't eat anything
tonight. Aaron didn't sleep much that night. In the morning a gurney came
for him. Ever since the first operation he had been receiving injections every
morning. This morning he was given his injection while in the operating
room. This time he was placed on the table with the back inclined. His head
was tilted back and a brace was inserted between his jaws leaving his throat
open. He felt a prick in his arm as the IV was inserted. Dr. Falco spoke,
"Since your voice is not far out of range now I will not remove much tissue, I
don't want you to sound like a bimbo, after all you are a professional". A
panic came over Aaron. "Remove tissue?", he tried to say, but nothing
identifiable came out. He saw the surgical instruments out of the corner of his
eye as all went black.

When he awoke his throat hurt quite a bit, but it wasn't as bad as he had
thought. He was surprised to see Dr. Falco. She reached over and stroked his
head. "Don't talk dear, your voice will be more gentile if you don't try to talk
too early". Tears began to well up in Aarons eyes. "At least it's over", he
thought.

His recovery was going well. He had been at the institute for over 3 months
now and his face had healed up very well. It took him a while to get used to
his new voice, but he felt he could live with it since it was in a lower
register... for a woman. One evening as he was getting ready for his shower,
he noticed a slight swelling at his chest. As he rubbed them he noticed them
beginning to come erect! "No!!... Damn, how long have they been doing
this?" he shouted. He went back to the papers. He was not supposed to get
hormone injections... "That isn't supposed to be until Level 4", he yelled. He
went to the door and pounded with his fists. "Let me out this instant...I'm
not supposed to get the injections....it's not supposed to go any further...".
Aaron was on the verge of hysterics. Suddenly the small dinner door opened,
and a meal tin was thrust in. He lifted the top of the tray and began to sob. On
the plate was only a simple note and a pill. "Sleep well Erin" Aaron tried to
decide if he should take the pill or not. He thought he might try to escape in
the morning. Maybe if he tried he would at least show them that he really
didn't want them to go through with their plans. That morning he was
awakened with a start as one male orderly and 2 large females set upon him.
One of the females pointed to the pill on the tray and shook her finger at
Aaron. He struggled, but it was no use. A combination of the hormones he
had been given and the IV feeding he had for 2 weeks following his throat
surgery had left him weak and unable to fight them off. "Please don't do
this..." he cried. As he pleaded a second time he felt the nurse behind him
reach around and place the gag in his mouth and inflate it with a couple of
pumps from a ball, then the ball was removed from the valve. With that he
was quickly ushered down the hall in the silence of the early morning. His
struggles were renewed when he saw the table in the OR. He was lifted onto
the table and his legs secured at the knee and ankle in a heavy stirrup structure
at the foot of the table. With the back at a slight incline and his head against
it's rest he could see his crotch. He tried to look away, but felt the gag being
secured to the headrest. He tried to reach out but his arms were quickly
grabbed and brought behind the back of the table. The table had 2 cut outs at
the shoulders so the wrists and elbows could easily be secured to the padded
underside of the table. Finally the last bit of movement was taken from him
when a broad belt and straps were secured around his waist and high on his
thighs. He tried to roar his protests through the hole in the inflatable
mouthpiece, but any words were un-recognizable. The wait was horrific. He
was on the table for more than 40 minutes while he watched electrolysis
performed on the few hairs at the base of his penis. Again he tried to protest.
His eyes shot towards a tray that was pushed next to him. On it were breast
implants, they looked to be at least a B cup size. After what seemed like an
eternity, Dr. Falco came in. Aaron took in a deep breath to scream. He
thought if he could get her attention she might notice he was not ready for
this. As he took in his breath the mask came down and stifled his scream. As
he felt the mask being secured he tried to rock from side to side, but the table
was quite immobile. Finally resigned to his fate he felt hands rubbing a cool
slick liquid on his penis. Just then Dr. Falco came to his side. His eyes shot
to hers, pleading with her. She saw he was terrified. "Just try to relax..", she
said in a soft voice. "I see this isn't what you expected. We don't usually
keep the patients awake for this, but since you are going to be a doctor here I
thought you would like some insight to what goes on. I see now that may
have been a mistake. As I told you earlier, we feel that our councilors need to
go through the full treatment to better understand it". Aaron couldn't believe
it... she was actually going to go through with it. He was quite aroused now
by the rubbing on his groin. He was very near climax. "The last thing we
need from you dear is a sample of your sperm... then we'll begin", Dr. Falco
continued. Aaron tried to hold back, but by this time he was too gar gone. He
began to cum in waves. As he did he heard the hiss of the gas as it began to
flow in the mask. A cloth barrier was placed over his abdomen to block his
view of the procedure. "The first step is to remove the testicles and shape the
scrotum to form a labia...." He felt an injection in his groin area, and thought
he could just feel the blade of the scalpel......

The Beginning