Recruiting Letter

By: Sweet Sabrina

Dear Reader:

You have been sent this letter, because we have reason to
believe you may be qualified for and interested in a
position in our firm as an Executive Secretary. Some
details regarding the position follow.

Policies

1. Executive secretaries are considered to be on duty 24/7/365.
2. Dress code applies whenever secretary is on duty.
3. Each secretary reports directly to one executive.
4. Secretary must address that executive as Master or
Mistress as appropriate.
5. Secretary will address other executives as Sir or Madam
as appropriate.
6. Secretary's Master or Mistress will determine the name that
the secretary will be called.
7. When in the presence of Master or Mistress, secretary will
kneel at his or her feet.
8. When walking in Master or Mistress' company, secretary
will walk 2 steps behind and to the right.
9. Secretary will perform all tasks assigned without
complaint or hesitation.
10. Any failure to follow policies and/or dress code will
result in any disciplinary action deemed appropriate by the
executive.
11. When an executive is forced to take time from his or
her busy schedule to discipline a secretary, secretary will
show proper gratitude immediately.
12. No executive secretary will hold the position for more
than five years, after which time, secretary will be
reassigned within the company or released at her choice. If
release is chosen, letters of recommendations will be
given.

Dress Code

1. Skirts and dresses must end no lower than 3" above the
knee.
2. Shoes must have no less than 4" heels.
3. These shoes may be pumps or sandals, but must strap on
to prevent the temptation to kick the shoes off when at
your desk, as this is prohibited.
4. Nail polish and lipstick must be stylish and must match
(black and other Goth colors are not acceptable).
5. No clothes may be larger than a size 6.
6. Hair must be at least shoulder length and styled
fashionably.
7. Garter belt and stockings must be worn at least twice a
week.
8. No outfit may be worn more than twice in any month.
9. Jewelry will be tasteful and classy; wedding rings are
not permitted. Earrings and ankle bracelets are required at
all times.
10. Chastity devices will be worn at all times unless
removed by an executive. The executive decides who will be
given keys to the chastity device.
11. Friday (casual day) outfits may vary from standard, but
must be approved by H.R. Manager and the secretary's
manager before being worn.
12. Any executive may check at any time to ensure that the
secretary is in compliance with all aspects of the dress
code.

As an outsider reading the above you probably think this is
a company just waiting for a sexual discrimination suit.
However, the company has never been sued and should not be
sued anytime soon. As Director of Human Resources, I have
been careful to make sure that the executive secretaries to
whom the above policies apply have the same gender ratios
as the rest of the company and the rest of the community of
the home office. We currently have 5 male and 6 female
Executive Secretaries. Since we have 12 positions we are
currently looking for 1 male who meets the requirements and
can perform the duties listed above.

As you can see from policy 12 this position can be a great
boost to a young person's career. In fact two of our
directors were once executive secretaries here and many
others have good positions with other firms. For someone
like yourself, 5 years experience as an executive secretary
could well be the beginning of the life you have dreamed of
for so long. I will not deny that the work is hard, and the
executives are extremely demanding, but the rewards are
worth it. (The salary is also generous, but I doubt that
salary is your main concern.) If you are interested in the
position and I am sure you are, please send a current photo
with application.

Sincerely,
Richard Johnson
Human Resources Director