04 April 2011

All for Love

By: Vickie Tern

Note: Contains castration theme.

"I must say, this is one of their best tables, Kim. A little
exposed perhaps, but I enjoy being looked at when I'm well-dressed
and accompanied by someone even better-dressed. Being seen is our
reward for all the effort we go to to make ourselves beautiful.
Even here you've managed to attract some admiring glances, I
notice. Isn't that a good feeling? Everyone thinks you're just
lovely, and no one suspects anything else about you. But that's no
wonder, you're so thoroughly reshaped and rehabituated. How long
has it been now? Weeks? Months? When was the last time you went
out even vaguely resembling a man?"

"I don't know. Three or four months? More? From the beginning
Tracy wanted me to live full time as a woman and nothing else, so
the whole thing would become second nature. I tried dressing as a
man not long ago, but my movements are now so effeminate it was
laughable. I didn't dare leave the house."

"Then you should be feeling quite at ease now. Yet you seem edgy.
Why do you think our little excursion this evening is any different
from any of those you've taken with Tracy?"

"Eileen, I just don't know. Maybe because for the first time I'm
with you of an evening instead of Tracy. Maybe it was the odd way
Tracy was behaving earlier tonight when we were both fixing our
faces and getting ready to go out. She wanted me to wear my new
halter dress, for example, this one. 'Don't be afraid to look
sexy," she said. "It's time you showed a little cleavage now that
you've got some.' I still don't know why she thought I should dress
up. I'm out with you tonight only because Tracy's attending that
... whatever the thing is she has to go to tonight, and she didn't
want me sitting home alone. I mean, it's just us. We could have
worn jeans and gone for pizza. Yet instead here we are, done up
just gorgeous and seated in the finest French restaurant in town."

"I enjoy dressing up now and then. Tracy tells me you do too now
that you're well into it. She says your closet is like a grand
boutique."

"I suppose. It's wonderful how women need so many different
outfits, how they -- WE, Tracy wants me to say 'we women' -- we're
expected to dress according to occasion and mood and style and
season. It's endless. I love it, it's like a marvelous game Oh,
I'm reminded Eileen, Tracy told me to be sure to thank you for all
your help, all those shopping hints, and the lessons in feminine
behavior, for teaching me all sorts of things when she couldn't,
when she had to be at work. Also for agreeing to tonight. So,
thank you."

"You're very welcome, Kim. That's sweet of her to remind you and
sweet of you to remember. Tracy and I have been best friends ever
since I don't know when, and I've always thought you two were an
ideal couple, so I'd do anything for the both of you. So there's
nothing to thank me for, really, it's been my pleasure. But you
still haven't answered my question. You've been to restaurants
like this before with Tracy, and dressed as fashionably, and I know
she sends you out around town by yourself often so you'll get used
to being seen. So why so uneasy? No one here would ever dream you
were once a man. You're all girl down to the way you hold your
head and drape your hands. Just look at you! You're perfect."

"I guess that's true enough. When Tracy started me wearing these
clothes and teaching me how to behave she warned me I had to do it
flawlessly or I'd make a fool of myself. So I've really worked at
it. Took time off to devote myself to it full time. You've helped
a lot, Eileen, and I really am grateful to you for that. It's been
over a month since anyone stared hard at me when I've gone out.
Most of the time I don't even think about it, I go about my
business. Women in the street smile at me the way women do with
each other, and I smile back. And the men are all extra polite,
gentlemanly, especially when they see that I'm ... ahh, not
unattractive. They're never jesting or challenging with me the way
they are with each other. The way I used to be. Some men do get
pushy of course, but Tracy's taught me a few polite put-downs for
dealing with them."

"It is nice being one of us, isn't it. Tracy was sure you'd like
it once you got over your anxieties. She thinks you might want to
stay this way when your probation ends.

"Oh, I don't know. It's also nice being a man, though it'd take
time for me to convert myself back. And I'd miss all the fuss and
feathers. But Eileen, to answer your question, I really don't know
why I'm a little unsure of myself tonight. Because this is the
first time I've been out with a woman other than Tracy? Not
likely. I mean, you've been part of this practically from Day One,
giving Tracy ideas, reassuring me all the time, and so on. So I
don't know. Maybe it's just something Tracy said when you picked
me up tonight? She squeezed my hands a little extra hard and
looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Good luck honey! Don't
worry, you'll do fine! Have fun!' I wondered about that. She
seemed concerned for me. She's never done that before."

"Mmmmmmm!"

"It didn't help when we first arrived here and you left me for a
moment to talk to those men at the bar who were ogling us. Tracy
taught me to pay no attention whatever to men like that, lots of men
like to try their luck with unattached women. The way they were
staring at us I felt like a piece of meat. Did you know them?"

"Lots of men think all unattached women are pieces of meat, honey.
If you keep this up you'll just have to get used to it. No, I
didn't know them, but I knew of them. Tracy told me to look out
for two guys who might be here and if I saw them to give them a
message. That's who they were, so that's what I did. No more than
that. You saw."

"I guess."

"Here's the waiter. Would you like a drink? I'm having a vodka
martini."

"OK. The same."

"A vodka martini straight up for me, please, and a double for her."

"Why a double for me, Eileen?"

You're the one who feels nervous tonight, honey."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe it's this dress? I feel so exposed."

"Oh, Kim honey, don't be silly, you look exactly right. In this
restaurant all the men wear dinner jackets, and all the women wear
gowns like yours, designed to show lots of bare skin and lush
curves wrapped in exquisitely tailored fabrics. You fit in here
the same way you did when you wore the dinner jackets and Tracy
wore the gowns."

"I can hardly remember, it seems such a long time ago. But this is
what Tracy wanted. I'm so different -- only my name is the same."

"Yes, though I've wondered about that, you know? Have you always
been 'Kim'? That's a girl's name, as in 'Kim Basinger,' or 'Kim
Novak,' or 'Kim Stanley,' the movie actresses. Short for 'Kimberly'
I think. How did your parents happen to give you that name? Did
they want a girl when you were born? That might explain a few
things."

"They never went to the movies. They read a lot. There's this
novel by Rudyard Kipling called 'Kim,' about an Irish boy named
'Kimball' who grows up in India when it was still a British colony
and learns how to pass as an Indian. They hoped I'd grow up to be
'multicultural' the way he did."

"Did they raise you to be a girl as well as a boy? Teach you girl
culture?"

"No, that was Tracy's idea. You know that, she told me she talked
all this over with you first. You even know why I agreed to it."

"Yes. I just wondered. When I first met you, you struck me as a
lovely man with delicate features and a girl's name. I thought for
a moment you were a girl dressed butch. Tracy also has a boy's
name, well, say a unisex name, but no one would possibly ever
mistake Tracy for a boy. She's been all girl ever since I've known
her. We blossomed out together when we were in high school, did
you know that? It was such fun, pacing each other's progress into
womanhood. I had my period first, but she grew her breasts first,
and she gave her first blow job long before I decided which nerdy
boy deserved my first French kiss. And the rest of her? She had
the figure of a goddess before she was sixteen! But you know all
about that!"

"Yes, her figure is one of the reasons I fell so absolutely in love
with her, I can't deny it. But only one of the reasons. It's that
...I can't explain it, it's everything about her. I've always been
...I've always loved her so very deeply, passionately, helplessly,
with all my heart. I worship her. Everything about her. I have
from the moment I first saw her. She's everything to me."

"Kim, I believe you. And you're obviously still head over heels in
love with her, beyond all common sense. I know it, and you know
it. Yet it's Tracy who doesn't know it, who always needs to be
reassured. She's always had this self-deprecating streak in her.
There she is, a marvelous woman with a doting husband, and she
can't bring herself to believe she's fully worthy. Maybe because
her father left home when she was still young, so she never felt
secure in his love? Maybe because her mother was often somewhere
else when she needed her? Who knows. But that's how she is,
lacking confidence in herself and always probing the depth of your
love for her, always testing it. If you happen to tell her you
love everything about her, immediately she needs to see if you
really mean 'everything.' She has to push the limits. Only then
can she risk believing you."

"I don't mind. I'd do anything for her. I tell her that all the
time. And look at me, I've pretty much done it!"

"True enough. Here you are living like a woman for her, but it
still isn't quite enough. You do know she wants even more, don't
you?"

"More? What more is there? How?"

"You remember your promise to her when all this began?"

"Of course!"

"How it all came about? When you two were alone in bed and you
were being an affectionate husband and she was being an
affectionate wife, and the two of you were making love? Being
intimate the way you usually are, gently, quietly? She told me all
about it when she asked me how to use this tremendous gift you gave
her that night. She was on top of you, and as she rose and fell
and you were both enjoying the sweetness of it all she asked you
'How much do you love me?' Remember that?"

"I'll never forget it. I told her, 'To the length and breadth and
height my soul can reach,' that's what some poet says. Because it's
true. And then I said, 'Absolutely, completely, utterly,' because
that's true too."

"Yes. And she kept rising and falling on you, and she told you
that 'absolutely' and 'completely' and 'utterly' are only words,
and it's easy to say them when your cock is inside her. It's
what you're willing to do for her that really counts. And then you
said just what she wanted to hear. 'Tell me how I can prove it!
Put me to the test.' Isn't that so?"

"I told her that, yes. She was so gorgeous that night! So soft
and ... so ripe! Her cheeks all flushed and her breasts so very
... well, we'd already made love once that night, and I'd already
licked and sucked my cum back out of her the way I do after we've
made love. We were resting, getting ready to go to sleep. But then
for some reason she smiled softly and caressed me so tenderly, and
said she wanted more. So she mounted me and .... "

"What was it she said next? Do you remember?"

"'Will you do anything for me? Can you endure anything for me? Is
your love that intense? That pure?' I remember those words.
There have been times since then when I've had to remind myself
that was what she asked of me. It hasn't always been easy. I have
to remind myself how I answered her, too, sometimes."

"I can imagine. Believe me, she remembers all of it word for word.
She remembers that you said, 'Yes, I will! Try me!' You actually
asked her to try you. To test your love for her. And she asked,
'Are you sure?' and you said, 'Yes!'"

"Yes. That's just what I said, 'Yes!'"

"She tells me you were so close to cumming at that moment you might
not have realized what you were saying. Is that true?"

"I would have said it anyhow. I love her. Tracy is my life."

"Apparently so, Kim. I believe it. She told me that she decided
to test your love as no man's love has ever been tested before.
She wanted you to endure more for her sake than any man should ever
be expected to endure for the woman he loves. Then if you managed
to pass those tests, she wanted to reward you with yet another test
as no man has ever been rewarded. Three different phases of testing,
and she had all three in mind practically from the beginning."

"I remember she said those things. I told her to name each phase,
to tell me what to do and I'd do it. That my love for her knows no
bounds."

"And that was very noble of you. But she then scared the hell out
of you, didn't she? She told you that what she wanted was for you
to give up your manhood for her. Remember? In just those words,
'give up your manhood.'"

"Oh Lord, yes."

"She tells me you stared at her and your face turned white.
Because you thought she wanted you to cut off your balls. It's
odd, that's where men seem to locate their manhood. Not in their
moral character or their attitudes or manners or values, not even
in their physical strength. Only in their genitals, two balls and
a cock. Isn't that true? You thought she was asking you to become
a eunuch?"

"It did frighten me. Because I thought I'd have to do it or else
stand exposed as a fraud who just mouths words and doesn't mean
them. I felt trapped."

"Then when she realized how you'd misunderstood her, she eased you
back into reality and said 'No no, not that, I just mean for you to
cease to be a man.' Which didn't sound quite as severe I suppose,
but bad enough."

"Yes. Those were her words, 'to cease to be a man.' When she
asked me to 'give up my manhood' I was shocked, I admit it, but
'cease to be a man' was more puzzling than shocking. I couldn't
see how any man can ever 'cease to be a man' -- a man's a man, for
a' that, you know? She saw that again I'd misunderstood her, so
she tried a third time. What she really meant, she said, was that
I should cease to behave like a man. For a certain period of time,
perhaps, not forever, in token of my love for her. Sacrifice all
masculine behavior to prove my love for her."

"That's so. She told me she wanted that as undeniable proof of
your love and as a supreme test of its strength. She wanted you to
turn your own manliness against itself, to pit your love for her
against fear of humiliating your masculinity, and then see which
wins. How did you feel about that?"

"Eileen, I was so relieved she wasn't insisting on castration that
I told her 'yes, of course, gladly.' I asked her how she meant for
me to behave that wasn't manly. To pretend I was a wimp? A
coward? There's an old medieval tale, where a chivalrous knight is asked
by his lady fair to dishonor himself in a joust, to pretend
cowardice just for her. He does it and has to endure everyone's
contempt. But by doing it he's proved that his devotion to his lady
is absolutely selfless, and she rewards him accordingly. That's
what I thought she wanted."

"How chivalric of you. Her knight, Sir Kim. But you still didn't
understand her, did you?"

"No, it turned out I didn't. She said no, all she wanted was for
me to look like a woman and live like one for a while. That was
what she meant. That was the risk of humiliation I had to endure.
That was the proof of love she wanted me to offer her. To run a
risk of exposure and ridicule and ruined reputation for her sake.
She didn't know if I could do it. But I told her I was willing.
I could make that kind of sacrifice. If it pleased her, then it
would please me. That was what, last summer? So much has happened
since then."

"Just about. She told me all about it right after you agreed, so
I could help her plan what was involved."

"It figures. She's so unsure about so many things, and you're
never in doubt about anything. Anyhow, we began the next day. It
didn't seem much of a sacrifice at first. I told my partners
I needed a year's Sabbatical and they agreed to cover for me, and
that freed me to do whatever she wanted full time. She started
teaching me how to wear makeup and so on, each night something else
and all the next day spent practicing what I'd learned. How to
maintain a simple hairdo, nothing like this one, but still, a
woman's hairdo. And how to walk and talk, all the moves, like I
said. And what to wear on different occasions. How to relax
gracefully and show off my figure even when wearing tight jeans --
that took a little time and a lot of tucking, she wanted me to show
off a woman's crotch, as if the jeans were snugged tight into a
crease. Learning to walk in heels and make my rear move
provocatively but not too obviously, that took time too. All those
things you women do so naturally. I mean, we women do naturally.
You helped with a lot of those things."

"She told me you balked at only one thing, but then came around."

"That's right. She wanted me to take my birth control pills every
morning on waking up, like every other woman, and then another kind
of hormone pill I need because I don't have my own ovaries. Mainly
because that way I could keep keep my full head of hair for styling,
but also for the bonus, to make my face and body look less angular,
less manly, rounder, more feminine. I was uneasy about it, but in
the end I did it. For Tracy I'd do anything. There was a lot of
nausea and moodiness at first, even a little acne, but I got used to
it. I loved the way my nipples thickened and elongated as my breasts
came in. They got incredibly sensitive, erogenous even, Now
whenever Tracy touches or kisses them I just melt into a puddle and
she can do anything with me she wants. I'm glad I have them now.
In fact I'm rather proud of the fact that everything exposed by
this slinky dress I'm wearing is really me, that there's no filling
or padding. I suppose Tracy pushed me to look ultra-feminine in
order to save me from seeming some kind of pervert. But now as you
say, no one would dream I'm a man. Making me over so completely
was an act of love for her even while I was proving mine to her,
I'm sure of it."

"Didn't you ever question why she was putting you through all
that?"

"Sure. Of course I did. But to myself, never to her. After a
while looking and behaving like a woman wasn't too bad, considering
what I first thought she wanted. I could hack it. I decided that
well, that's her kink, and if my being less manly relieves her
insecurities and also proves how much I love her, I'll go along.
It's only for a time, she'd said. So even when my boobs started
growing in, I thought hey, I can live with them. Now I enjoy them.
I like the way they help fill a sweater."

"You actually sound pleased, Kim. Well let me tell you, Tracy's
been very pleased with you. From the beginning she couldn't stop
gushing to me about it, how you were a natural. That you took to
it so eagerly that the two of you went to Starbucks for coffee
dressed as women by the end of only the first week. And that you
went there all by yourself the end of the second week."

"I don't pretend I wasn't scared to death both times. The second
time Tracy followed me and watched me from outside the window as I
sat over my latte, ready to enter in case I got into trouble."

"Which you did, she told me, when some young man came over and
began to chat with you, and apparently offered to get you a refill
so he'd have an excuse to sit down at your table, She says the
look on your face was priceless. She almost came in to bail you
out, because she hadn't yet taught you any coping skills, how to
turn men away politely but firmly. Or how to amuse yourself with
them."

"Fortunately, he wasn't insistent. I just told him I was waiting
for a friend and he excused himself. It was that simple."

"Kim, let me say something. You're a very sweet man, or right now
I guess I should be calling you a very sweet 'girl,' and I
understand perfectly well why Tracy fell in love with you, and how
come she still bores all her friends to death by telling us over
and over that the day she married you was the happiest day of her
life, except for all the days of her married life ever since. That's
what she's always saying. You're sweet. That's your great virtue.
But making yourself over into a woman wasn't really the big deal for
you she thinks and you think."

"No? For me it was sometimes excruciating!"

"I can imagine. But let's look at it. You never were a hunk
physically. Mr. Muscles or Bill Stud? No way! No one has ever
accused you of excessive masculinity. And your face isn't craggy,
and you don't have a jutting jaw, so there's been no need for plastic
or cosmetic surgery to make your face feminine -- make-up does the
trick quite nicely. It was easy for her make you over into a
woman no one can doubt is a woman. A rather attractive woman too,
I've got to give you that. It's a rare achievement for both of
you, but not for someone with your gifts to begin with."

"It wasn't easy, Eileen. Don't kid yourself. I mean, we started
on this months and months ago, and I've practiced every move for
days at a time, Tracy insisted on it. That's why it all seems so
natural now. And I had to lose a lot of weight to thin down to
this willowy look. Tracy insisted on it, so when my rear and hips
and boobs came in they'd curve and protrude, they'd look fetching
on my body instead of just thickening it. Even so, this afternoon
it took the Palace of Beauty over four hours to change me into what
you see."

"Into -- say it. Be proud. Into a perfectly lovely woman."

"All right. I'll admit it. Yes. A lovely woman. It doesn't
embarrass me to say that any more. I like how I look in the
mirror. I've been going to that salon weekly for some time, but I
was still amazed when they finally let me look at myself this
afternoon. I'm still a little worried about it, too. I have no
idea how to do my hair like this -- I'll need to go back to them
for every wash and set from now on. And my eyebrows are so thin
now, so incredibly delicate. I mean, I can always cover my boobs
when I want to look like my ... my former self. But my eyebrows
won't grow in again for a long time."

"No, they won't. They won't grow in ever. They weren't plucked
off or waxed off, honey. What I understand is, they were lasered off
roots and all."

"Are you sure? When I tried filling them in, thickening the effect
with an eyebrow pencil, they only looked worse. I have to follow
their line across the high arch and add nothing. And my pierced
ears, I don't know how to hide them either. What will people think
when...."

"Not to worry. If they knew you from before, they'll think what I
think, that you're a man so deeply in love with your wife that
you're willing to do anything for her. They'll envy her. Or else
they'll simply assume that you are what you look like, an
attractive woman. Quite attractive. Now it's time you said 'thank
you'! A woman always acknowledges compliments!"

"Thank you, Eileen. But I ...."

"Never mind 'but'! Go with it, honey! It took them only four
hours to get you looking the way you look now? That's incredible!
That's nothing! You don't know, Kim! Why, I'll sometimes schedule
myself a whole day of pampering at Elizabeth Arden's, or Arnoldo's,
or Christine's, or whatever's the best salon wherever I happen to
be, when I want to look my best for some special occasion. Say,
some all-out affair like a wedding, or a charity ball, or a friend's
anniversary party, or the start of an all-out affair of my own.
My divorce settlement left me with a lot of money, and I love
spending it on me. It's always worth it!"

"Tracy hardly ever uses salons. She's so naturally gorgeous. When
I wake up ahead of her I'll spend hours just watching her sleep,
even when she isn't wearing any make-up at all. Just watching her
breathe in her sleep. She's so heartbreakingly beautiful!"

"You are in love, sweetie. You do adore your goddess, don't you.
No need to prove it to me, it's Tracy who needs to be persuaded.
Maybe after tonight. Ahh, the waiter again. I think you're going
to need another drink, Kim. No, we're not quite ready to order,
but another round of the same, please?"

"Eileen, I'm already feeling a little tiddly."

"Not quite enough, sweetheart. Besides, if you want to celebrate
your wife's natural beauty you need something to toast her with.
Meanwhile, your voice, girl, do remember to keep it flute-like.
No, I don't suppose Tracy needs to spend hours in salons the way we
do."

"Eileen, you're the best-looking of all of Tracy's friends. I
can't believe that you need a whole day to ...."

"Why, honey, thank you for that pretty compliment. I admit it, I'm
something of a natural beauty too I suppose, like Tracy, though
unlike Tracy I believe you can never gild a lily often enough. But
honey, so are you, oddly enough! It took the salon only four hours
to do this to you? Your hair lightened to blonde and piled high,
and your face made up as perfect as a doll's, with those huge dark
bedroom eyes and those puffy rosy lips? You're a walking wet
dream, Kim!"

"Eileen, thank you again, but ...."

"I guess I should have known. Looking you over now, I can see why
Tracy set you this kind of test. Not something arduous or heroic,
to climb the highest mountain or to swim the deepest river,
something like that, but to show the world the gorgeous girl who
lives inside you. She saw you could bring her out if you'd let
yourself. I mean, you were a long way toward it even before any of
this experiment began! Look at those creamy shoulders, and narrow
arms, and slim wrists -- how could anyone have ever thought you
were much of a man to begin with? How many men can wear a halter
dress like the one you're wearing now and carry it off so well.
With cleavage that can't possibly be courtesy of the Wonder-bra
company. Not entirely, anyway."

"Not at all, Eileen. I'm proud of my breasts of course, but one
reason I'm a little nervous is that my nipples show through this
dress, so I feel sort of naked. Because I'm braless. Tracy
thought a bra might detract from the daring neckline on this dress,
so there's nothing at all holding me up or shaping me at the
moment. When Tracy started me on hormones she told me I'd need a
little something of my own up top so no one can ever doubt I'm a
girl and embarrass me. And now that I have the breasts of a young
girl, she wants me to show them off. There wasn't anything at all
there when we began."

"Well, they're about like mine now. What's your cup size?"

"Recently they got to 'C.' Tracy was delighted. She took away all
my 'B' bras and bought me whole batches of new ones. It was fun.
I asked her 'Why so many?' and she answered, 'Because I want to,
it's like shopping for a daughter or a bridal shower. Don't you
love having lots and lots of your own bras?' I do have to admit
that I've gotten used to wearing them, in fact I feel uncomfortable
without one. And the really pretty ones make me feel so ...
strangely delicious when I put them on. So ... so seductive!"

"I don't doubt it. So drink up. I propose a toast to your new
figure! You really are a girl now, aren't you? Anyone looking in
our direction sees only two well-dressed young women having dinner
together. Even the maitre d' never raised an eyebrow when he held
out your chair to seat you, and he's seen it all. And those two
men at the bar looked positively lecherous when they checked us
out."

"I saw."

"You'd better have. You'd better notice things like that from now
on or you'll get yourself into serious trouble. You may want to
notice, for example, now that you've finished your drink, who's
entering the restaurant right now. Don't turn around, they'll come
into view in a moment, they're over on the other side of the room."

"My God! Is that Tracy?"

"Yes. Keep your seat. Don't stare! I mean it!"

"I .... all right, she told me she'd be tied up tonight, so I just
assumed...! It is Tracy! And she's...my God, she's wearing that
gorgeous Versace dress she bought herself just last week, she said
it was for an upcoming special occasion ... it barely covers... and
who is that ...."

"Kim! You're a lady, remember? Lower your voice! And do stop
staring! You're lucky neither of them have seen you yet, but
really, you're beginning to attract attention from several of the
other tables!"

"My God, Eileen, who is that man? Who is she with?"

"That's better. Let me look if I can without being too noticeable.
Yes, I can see now why she wanted this. My goodness, the goddess
really has really found herself a god to help her conduct phase two
of your little ordeal. Whoever imagined that a man that well-built
could wear a tuxedo that comfortably. And handsome? This should
be very interesting!"

"Do you know who he is? Why is she here with him tonight? And why
here, in this restaurant? And what do you mean, 'phase two'?"

"Kim, sweetheart, do calm down. Look this way! No, at me,
directly at me, not at them! That's it! They aren't going
anywhere, not yet! Now take some deep breaths, honey. That's the
way. Keep looking at me. Now listen. You certainly don't want to
make a spectacle of yourself, not dressed the way you are, not
looking the way you do, it wouldn't be at all becoming. Don't
disgrace yourself or Tracy! Remember, tonight you are not her
husband. She doesn't know you at all. Even though you told her
'good night' only an hour or so ago when I came to pick you up, and
she told you to 'Have fun,' and she meant it. Right now, the way
you are now, she can't possibly know you. Not as her husband.
Don't embarrass her and yourself too."

"Eileen, what is this? I... why is she....who is he? What are
they doing now?"

"What do you imagine they're doing? The Maitre d' is seating them
over in the far corner and handing them menus. Never mind them.
As for your other questions, don't you remember anything else about
that night you took up Tracy's challenge?"

"Remember what else?"

"What you told her you'd do. What you'd be willing to do? She
told me the whole conversation practically verbatim, so I could
remind you if it seemed necessary. Is it?"

"Which conversation? If what was necessary?"

"Take some more deep breaths. Now take up your purse and take out
your compact and check your lipstick. Fix it whether it needs it
or not. That's right, look at yourself in the mirror, only in the
mirror, OK? Concentrate. What do you see? You're a girl, you see
that? Remember that, Kim! Now, calmly, if you must look at them,
use your mirror."

"What's that they're doing? Tracy and ... the man she's with?"

"Who? Oh! Kim, don't ask me to turn to look at them so obviously.
Let me drop my napkin and then pick it up. There. I see, they're
ordering drinks, that's all they're doing.

"They were holding hands! I didn't notice until the waiter came
and they had to let go."

"So? Put out your hands! There! Now we're holding hands too, and
it doesn't mean anything. That's how people show affection for
each other, and offer consolation and reassurance. That's all.
Except that right now it does give me an opportunity to admire your
manicure. It's really very nice -- acrylic can look like jewels,
well-finished. And it matches your lipstick and I bet even your
toenails! So my sweet Kim is all rosy from her rosy lips and
fingertips to her rosy toes. I'm curious, tell me, how can you get
anything done with nails that long?"

"Eileen, what's going on?"

"I'll let you know, but first, answer me!"

"All right. Tracy wanted me to have long nails to slim down and
lengthen my fingers. 'Just wear them for a while,' she said, 'at
least for your dinner with Eileen, so you'll feel as elegant as any
woman in the room.' And I do. But Eileen, none of this is
explaining why Tracy's here too, and why she didn't tell me, and
why she hasn't looked for us even though she knows we're here, and
who that man is!"

"Oh, Kim, stop fretting. I know all about this. She's seen us of
course, don't be a silly twit! Who he is is unimportant. A man
she knows from work, OK? Bruce somebody, once a pro-football
player, now an out of town buyer, someone she doesn't have to see
daily or ever see again if she doesn't want to. Someone she had
reason to believe would be glad to be asked to dinner with her,
especially with the promise of a little bit more afterward."

"Eileen, what do you mean, 'a little bit more'? What's going on!
They're being so ... familiar with each other. I mean Tracy is
acting almost as if this was a date, she's smiling and preening and
looking delighted by everything he says, and she hardly ever takes
her eyes off him. Those're the things she taught me to do when I'm
on a date and want a man to know I'm attracted to him. Not that
that can ever happen!"

"No more than you becoming a woman can happen, Kim. Now think.
That first night, when you agreed to her test, agreed to dress up
and learn to be a lady, to stop being a man, did you understand
that there would be other things she'd want you to do too, one of
them something very difficult for a man to endure and one of them
the kind of reward no man ever gets? Two more phases toward
proving your love for her?"

"Yes, but she never told me what they were. So I assumed making
myself into a woman was it."

"She told you there'd be more when you were ready for more. Other
ways for you to give up your manhood. Not just by looking and
behaving like a woman but also by not behaving like a man when the
time came to test you."

"I didn't understand that. I still don't."

"You will, honey. The time has come."

"What do you mean."

"Think about it. What's the most harrowing thing you can possibly
endure for her sake? What's the greatest sacrifice you can make to
prove to her that you love her as you claimed to love her,
absolutely and completely and utterly."

"I have no idea. Isn't appearing in public as a woman enough?"

"What's more emasculating for a man than even dressing up to look
like a woman and getting lecherous stares from other men? Or
getting propositioned by them? What might Tracy have in mind for
herself and that handsome man she's with, with you fully aware of
it. With you watching them do it."

"I have no idea .... What do you ...? I ...."

"Think."

"My God!"

"Yes, exactly!"

"No! You can't mean it! No, Eileen, no!"

"Kim, lower your voice. I insist! I mean in volume as well as
pitch. You're practically shrieking!"

"She wouldn't! Tracy and I, we've always been absolutely honest
with each other, and absolutely faithful! She'd never do such a
thing, sneaking around to ...."

"I see no sneaking around, Kim. There she is, and there's her man
of the evening, and here you are watching both of them. She wants
you to see everything. Otherwise what kind of a sacrifice would it
be for you?"

"A sacrifice? Of what? You mean she ... she means to...."

"Yes. She does. Everything she can think of. With that man.
Openly, before your eyes, with nothing left to your imagination.
That's how it has to be. If her date with that man was all secrecy
and rumor and speculation, Tracy stepping out of an evening with an
'I'll be home late dear' as her only explanation, there wouldn't be
anything really difficult for you to endure, would there?
Suspicions and fears, but if your imagination got too intense you
could always turn it off. Pretend there's no problem, as millions
of husbands and wives do. No, this needs you there the whole time,
witnessing it all and doing nothing about it. That's the far more
profound way she wants you to give up your manhood. If you can do
that for her, that is. If you love her that much and can assure
her of your love in just that way."

"I...! Eileen, I ...! This ...!"

"Kim, NO! Don't even dream of standing up! Think! You're a
beautifully dressed, carefully made up woman about to have dinner
with one of her dearest friends. How would it look if you were to
suddenly stand up and march over to a total stranger's table and
express whatever it is you're thinking, declare your high moral
outrage about marital infidelity and deceitful wives and so on, all
the while wearing a halter dress with a neckline to your navel and
speaking in a deep, masculine voice that renders anything you might
say altogether absurd? You'd be ridiculous! The restaurant would
have to ask you to leave, maybe even have you arrested! Or maybe
the muscular gentleman Tracy's with would feel obliged to protect
her from an obvious lunatic. By force if necessary."

"So this is why she wanted me to learn to be a woman for all those
weeks and months? So when the moment came for me to express
indignation at her behavior, I couldn't? I'd be impotent? I could
do nothing?"

"Passing as a woman was a test, and you passed it brilliantly. You
overcame your trepidation and ended up both attractive and
comfortable at it. We've both admired you enormously for it -- I'd
never have agreed to go out with you tonight if you weren't so
extraordinarily ... feminine. As long as no one doubted you, and
no one did, you've been magnificent. But now comes the more
difficult test. You're right, feminizing you has been a
prerequisite to this one, but for more than one reason. First, to
keep you from making an utter fool of yourself when you confront
this second test. Remember, Kim, you did claim that your love
could withstand any test and triumph over any difficulties."

"Not a test like ...."

"Oh? Did you have easier things in mind? Tracy wants to tax you
beyond endurance, to see if you can endure anything! Didn't you
say you loved her 'utterly'? She needs to know that! That your
love for her is unconditional. Was it just talk? And that's a
second reason why this test is as it is. Tracy loves you! She
needs for you to prove how much you love her. She needs to know!
She hopes you will! But we all know that blind male jealousy is
violent and unpredictable, that no normal man can ever watch his
beloved wife enjoy herself as she fucks another man unless he's
first been made -- as you say -- impotent. Look how very close you
came just now to failing her and yourself! Ruining all your hard
work! Tracy feminized you in order to help you! To safeguard you!
Because she loves you and wants you to succeed!"

"Oh, God, Eileen! It's mad! It's perverse! But I see what you
mean."

"Finally!"

"Does she have to do this?"

"Can you think of another equally emasculating test of your true
love? Would you rather give up your manhood literally, go get
it cut off?"

"I feel I've somehow been set up! You set me up! You both set me
up!"

"You could say that I suppose. It's true enough. But you did
agree to it. And it's all for your own good, Kim, remember that
too, yours and Tracy's. You two are the most happily married,
closest bonded couple it's been my privilege to know! You might
have left it at that. But you made claims of unconditional perfect
love, and offered to submit to any test. Could a woman as unsure
of herself as Tracy let such a claim go unchallenged? She's been
exulting to me for months about how marvelous you are, how
willingly you've accepted your emasculation, how willingly you gave
up living like a man and settled into living like a woman, and all
for her. She's been telling me how she'll love you with all her
heart, forever and ever, if your love for her survives tonight.
Survives this and then what happens afterward."

"There's more?"

"Of course there is! Phase one was easy. Swishing around looking
like a well-bred girl isn't really that difficult. We all do it,
and you've learned to enjoy doing it. Phase two will be
excruciating, but maybe you'll survive it. If you do, you'll be
better prepared to survive phase three."

"Phase three too? Eileen, what more can she possibly want from
me?"

"Oh, don't be such a baby! It hasn't been that bad! You haven't
been castrated yet, have you? Be grateful! Tracy and I both know
a woman named Margo who felt so insecure about her husband's love,
so unsure that she could trust it, that she asked him to give up
having sex with her altogether and to give up masturbating too. He
actually agreed! She was so overwhelmed by his willingness that
she went around for days exulting about how spiritually pure their
love for each other had become, and how much more it would become
in time. Well, his purified spirit was willing, but his flesh was
weak, and Margo believed his secretary was willing, so ...."

"So she put him into a chastity belt? I've heard about ...."

"No, his ultimate pledge of love didn't require a chastity belt.
Instead, she put him through a certain surgical procedure to help
him maintain his sincerity, and when it was done there was nothing
left for him to put into a chastity belt. So you see, you're
getting off easy. Tracy isn't asking you to give up sex, far from
it! She never has and never will. You'll be enjoying more sex
than ever when this is over."

"I see"

"I doubt it. But don't sound so bitter! Let me lay it out in
plain terms. Here we are. I'm Tracy's oldest friend, and you're
my friend. There's Tracy and Bruce, her man of the evening. In a
few minutes Tracy is going to notice us and come over and ask if
they can join us. She'll tell Bruce that her oldest friend, that's
me, enjoys women as well as men, so she's not surprised that I'm
here with someone else who also enjoys women, that's you, my
paramour. If he thinks you're a lesbian he won't turn his charm on
you, so you'll both be saved that embarrassment. I'll introduce
you to both of them, and we'll all four have a lovely dinner here,
and then I'll suggest that we all go to a terrific lesbian bar I
know of that's hospitable to straight men like him and has a great
group playing there this week. We'll go. You'll dance with me and
he'll dance with her. He'll probably also dance with you out of
courtesy -- if so we'll see to it that it's a slow dance so you can
snuggle up and get to know how warm a man's bulge feels when he's
excited and it's pressing against a thin dress. Then we'll retire
to two rooms we've already rented in a nearby hotel, and the
fucking will commence. Tracy's will, that is, with the man she's
with. There'll be nothing secret or clandestine about it. There's
an adjoining balcony, and you'll sit there with me and watch them.
You'll see it all."

"I'll ... !!?"

"You'll be emasculated by your wife and another man in a different
way altogether. You'll sit there and sacrifice your manly outrage
and your anguish and jealousy to her sexual pleasure. You'll watch
yourself become a cuckold, endure seeing your wife in the arms of
another man as she makes the same passionate moves and noises she
makes when she's having sex with you. Maybe more passionate and
noisier. She hopes so, because that would really prove to her how
selfless your love is, how it permits, even wants her to enjoy a
superior lover. But that's as may be."

"This is insane! Why does she want another man? She's always told
me that I overwhelm her, that I'm more than enough for her."

"You are. Is this that hard for you to understand? It isn't that
she wants another man. Oh, fucking a new man is always exciting
and all, I suppose, but she really is satisfied with you. She's
blissfully happy with you. But she needs to push you past your
outer limits. You offered to submit to the test, and she accepted
your offer. So for the rest of your lives together she can bask in
the absolute love you've demonstrated you feel for her, and you can
luxuriate in knowing how much love she wants and needs from you.
And you'll know you've given it freely and completely. It's a
win/win situation. If you can watch her enjoy herself with another
man and feel glad for her, suppress your natural jealousy and feel
thankful that she's happy, then there's no question, we'll all have
to admit that greater love hath no man."

"Greater love? Are you kidding? I won't do it!"

"You said you would. You promised. If you won't, I'll go over
there right now and let her know that what you told her when all
this began wasn't true. That you don't love her absolutely and
completely and utterly."

"I do! But this is different! This would change the nature of our
marriage! Marriage is founded on faith, and trust, and hope, as
well as love!"

"And the greatest of these is love, the good book tells us, Kim.
Tracy isn't violating your trust. She's insisting that you see it
all, that there be no deception, even if you have to be tied down
and forced to watch. Or else it won't happen. If you fail the
test, that won't just change your marriage, it'll end it! Anyhow,
if I may, let me point out that your marriage changed irreversibly
when you agreed to the first of these tests, when you agreed to
accept feminizing in body and appearance and live as a woman. When
you ceased to be Rudyard Kipling's Kim and became Hollywood's Kim.
When you ceased to be a man and became a lesbian. That's what you
are now in effect. That or nothing."

"I didn't realize that. We've been as intimate as ever during this
period of retraining. There's been less penile sex, or 'dildo
insertion' as she likes to call it these days, but then my penis
hasn't been as responsive as I'd wish. That's only to be expected,
given my pills, and we do have each other's breasts to enjoy
instead. I do manage to penetrate her after a while, and then she
sucks on my clit while I suck my cum out of her pussy the same as
always. That's what lesbians do. That isn't enough proof of my
love for her?"

"Kim, think! She needs reassurance. Did you think putting on a
dress and growing boobs was as far as it would go? It was an
important first step because it leads to a more profound step,
giving her up to another man. That's a far greater sacrifice than
merely giving up an unimpressive masculine appearance."

"So I'm supposed to sit here and watch her play pattyfingers with
that...stud, and then sit on some balcony somewhere and watch them
fuck without interruption? That's what will prove my love for her?
Is that what you're telling me?"

"That's exactly what she wants. And that's exactly what it will
accomplish. Let me tell you how it's all going to turn out.
You're pretty much bi-gendered now, a man who feels comfortable
when he's a woman. Tracy has seen to that. By tomorrow she wants
you to be bisexual as well. She hasn't decided how to start you
off, not yet, but she'll probably invite you to suck her partner's
cock at some point during their lovemaking, maybe to help
it rise to one more performance with her. To help him fuck her.
If it seems advisable, that's what she'll ask you to do. And
you'll do it and by doing it, you'll prove yourself beyond any
doubt to be what she hopes you are, a deeply devoted, profoundly
loving, utterly self-sacrificing husband who will do anything for
her. Anything whatsoever. Or you won't do it, and then you'll be
exposed as exactly what you'll have turned out to be, a perverted,
voyeuristic husband who dresses up as a woman in order to watch his
wife have sex with another man. Your marriage will end, except for
the alimony you'll pay her to the end of her days."

"That's unfair!"

"I'm sure it would be, if you don't do whatever she wants you to
do. But you will. Because that's how she wants you, and that's
what she loves about you. She's going to have to endure an act of
infidelity too, remember, when she fucks that man. That will test
her love for you as well as your love for her. That's why she'll
probably want you to share in it by sucking her lover's cock. All
to safeguard her marriage to a marvelous man who's already proven
that he's willing to be a woman for her. Now she wants marriage to
a woman who's more than merely a 'woman' in name and appearance
only."

"Eileen, did you know about this? Did you suggest this ...?"

"I might have. Tracy's not very imaginative herself, and she's
listened very carefully to my advice, and I've had fun watching
your conversion. Neither of my husbands loved me enough to do
what you've done, not even to try on my panties or lipstick when
I asked them. You're different. But what difference does it
make now, Kim? Whatever you plan to do, you'd better decide.
Go along with it or leave. Tracy's just caught my eye. She's
acting as if she wants to come over, and she's telling him
something. Yes, they're standing up, and she's looking for her
purse. They'll be here in less than a minute."


****************


"I'm fucked! Thoroughly fucked!"

"I wouldn't say so, Kim. Stop striding around and sit down, it's
unbecoming! Your wife has been thoroughly fucked. You've been
cuckolded. There's a difference. But it really was something, I
agree, and you saw it all! Right up to the moment when they fell
asleep in each other's arms. It was nice, just as you said,
watching her chest rise and fall as she breathes. Especially after
all that earlier passionate gasping and moaning and screaming and
shrieking. My goodness, is she always that ... appreciative?"

"No. Not to my knowledge."

"Well, don't act so fretful. And stay away from that door, there's
no need to leave yet. Why don't you just sit here and I'll sit on
the bed. Don't worry, she'll be using that room a long while yet,
probably into the morning. There's no need to hurry home to begin
your new lives together in newly established perfect love and
trust. They'll want to use each other some more I suspect, then
maybe have a room service breakfast and finally, one last farewell
fuck."

"I don't want to hear about it."

"Kim dear, don't be so morose. I think you have every right to be
quite pleased with yourself. You've earned all sorts of
congratulations. You saw it all and you bore up the whole time,
and you didn't interrupt once. Except when he was blindfolded and
she signaled for you to come into the room, and then you actually
did suck his cock the way she'd hoped. And even swallowed, she
never expected that. She saw and was awe struck, I was watching
her expression. Then when she pointed toward her crotch, without
a word spoken you dropped to your knees and sucked his semen out of
her as if it were your own semen, as if this were only one more
intimate session between the two of you. That told her so much
about how you feel about her, what you're willing to endure for
her. She must be feeling overwhelmed by now by your devotion to
her happiness. How many men are capable of what you've just done,
I wonder?"

"I have no idea. I'm glad she was impressed. But I can still
taste him. I wish this hotel provided mouthwash."

"Maybe you should get used to the flavor of other men, Kim. You're
a woman as well as a man now, remember. And your mouth is no longer
virginal. It may crave more. You never know."

"Eileen, she didn't have to enjoy him quite the way she did."

"There I have to agree. She did get incredibly enthusiastic when
that hydrant of a cock managed to pry its way into her. Far more than
I'd expected. Tracy's usually so poised, so reserved, so very much
the lady. She told me that her lovemaking with you is always
blissfully serene, and I assumed it was that way because you're
both blissfully serene. But talk about hysterics! She seemed to go
berserk when that man entered her, so frenzied that she clawed and
climbed all over him. There she was trying to open all her
openings to him all at once, so he could fill them all
simultaneously with his mouth and nose and cock and fists and
fingers, with whatever was available. And even then she seemed
unable to get enough of any part of him into any one of her
openings. I thought for a time that she'd gone stark mad with all
that thrusting and shoving. Lord knows how many times she
orgasmed, it was like watching someone getting shocked by
electricity over and over. All that tense rigidity with no
breathing, then an easing off to deep breathing, then another climb
toward the summit of something and then another breathless spasm.
All that mewling and sobbing and incoherent babbling and screaming.
One long sustained ecstasy that seemed to go on for hours."

"I heard her. It did go on for hours."

"I wonder though. She went through an incredible ordeal. Was it
worth her trouble, I wonder? What do you think? Did it render you
as utterly humiliated as she'd hoped? Was your male pride so
devastated that you have none left, it's all been immolated on the
altar of your love for her?"

"You could say that. I can't imagine her even noticing me when I
next try to make love to her, not after she's made love to that
kind of man. I can't imagine her noticing if I'm even in her
bed, much less in her pussy."

"Yes, he's impressive. I thought he'd tear her apart with that
first thrust. And then the pumping -- how long would you guess he
was sliding in and out of her, twenty or thirty minutes maybe
before the first time he climaxed? And then to begin it again
and take even longer? And yet again? I marvel he had anything
left when Tracy finally signaled for you to come suck his cock and
harden it up for her, and you obliged and then all on your own got
him to spurt again -- that wasn't expected you know. Then not
fifteen minutes later he was at it again, again filling her up with
cum. Hours and hours of the most concentrated, obsessive yearning,
of rising to fulfillment and then collapsing from exhaustion,
repeated over and over. The man's a sperm fountain, and between
fucks his cock never really shrank at all! Incredible!"

"Don't tell me. I was there."

"Wasn't it exciting? It was certainly exhausting! No wonder
they're just lying there now getting their second wind. Tracy
must feel glorious now, with all that cum crammed into her pussy
and her guts, and swallowed down into her tummy, knowing it's in
your tummy too, knowing how you saw it all. Knowing how his brand
is now everywhere on her and in her, even in you. You knowing that
she couldn't be more his at this moment. Above all, you dedicating
this entire encounter to her in the name of your love for her."

"There's no need to remind me, Eileen. I saw. I heard."

"That's what's most important, Kim! She knows that you saw and
heard! Even when she was out of her mind she was watching you, I
saw it, always looking straight into your eyes. Telling you how
she was doing it all for you! For love! Fucking for the sake of
true love! Greater love hath no woman, I'm sure! Your marriage
is already re-settled onto a higher plane. It's practically
sublime!"

"I'm sure."

"I'm glad. Ready for phase three, your reward for being such a
superb lover? It's time. Sweetie, blot your eyes and fix your
mascara, and make yourself as pretty as you can. In about five
minutes there'll be more. Enjoy it and Tracy will be yours for
life, and you'll be hers, and never the twain of you will ever
part."

"What? What now?"

"Oh? Oh, yes, Tracy and I have discussed this part of your ordeal
at such great length that I'd forgotten you don't know anything
about it yet. Phase three is where you give up your manhood in one
last way, the one way remaining for any man who isn't actually gay,
or anyhow not yet gay. And at the same time, it's a redress
of the imbalance created when Tracy was fucking someone else, not her
lawful husband. It's her gift to you in recompense, to help you
purge any resentment you may feel. She wants to give you an
opportunity to avenge her infidelity with one of your own. Isn't
that good news? This time you'll get to do the fucking, Kim. And I
will too, though mainly I'll be an observer."

"Eileen, I have no idea what you're talking about. Should I?"

"I'd think so! We both need some kind of sexual relief, Kim!
Watching Tracy and that hunk going at each other has utterly
roiled up my insides -- my cunt has been dripping for hours.
I'm ready to fuck a doorknob. Surely you're feeling the same way!"

"Eileen, what are you talking about!"

"Phase three. Having been fucked in spirit, you'll now get fucked
in body and take full advantage of the opportunity to fuck back.
It's your turn! Remember those two men we saw at the bar when we
first entered the restaurant? They've been there all this time,
waiting to hear from me. They saw us, and obviously they saw that
we were worth waiting for, just as Tracy'd assured them when she
set all this up. I just called them, and they said they'll be here
in about five minutes. You promised Tracy that you'll behave just
like a woman, remember? Well, that's what you'll need to do very
soon, because one of those men is going to make you a real woman.
That's what we used to say we'd become when one by one we lost our
virginity to different studs in high school. Now it's your turn
to lose yours, to become a real woman at last, to test your love for
Tracy and hers for you by going to bed with a man the same way she
just did."

"Eileen, have you gone mad or have I? What do you mean? I won't!
And my going to bed with a man can't possibly test her love for me.
It wouldn't raise up any of her jealousy or purge her possessiveness.
It would only confirm that I've become what she wanted me to become
during phase one, a woman. To push Tracy's limits the way she's
pushed mine, I'd have to go to bed with a woman. With you, for
example. Yes, that's what I should be doing. Fucking you the way
Tracy fucked that...that...!"

"Don't look at me, Kim! This isn't my problem, it's yours and
Tracy's, I'm only helping out! I choose my men, and despite
pretending to be your lesbian lover, I choose only men. I'd
never bed down with you -- good heavens, you're my best friend's
girlfriend! I like a man's man! Ask my two ex-husbands why they
both gave up on me. I wore them out. I've always loved the feel
of a stiff dick and I've never been particular whose."

"Eileen, I'm a man. Under these panties there's ...."

"A dick, I know. You were born a man. But how long has it been
since you've had a rock hard erection or even a morning stiffie?
Weeks, Tracy's told me. Those boobs of yours do come at cost. So
you'll do better to offer them up to guys who'll appreciate them --
I've got my own, thank you. There'll be two men up here in another
minute or so, big ones who've been drinking all night and by now
must be as horny as goats. I'll give you first pick."

"My God. I really am fucked!"

"Not yet, Kim, but very soon! That's Tracy's phase three. You had
to become a woman in order to become a cuckold knowingly. And now
that you're a cuckold, stripped of your last shred of male pride,
she wants you to be a woman sexually as well as all the other ways.
You've flounced and you've sucked, but there's still one kind of
female behavior you haven't yet attempted. Though you will when
these men arrive."

"For God's sake, Eileen, I'm not gay!"

"You don't have to be. Your womanliness is quite sufficient.
It'll be easy, honey, really quite enjoyable! Ask me, I know! Ask
Tracy if it isn't -- you saw for yourself how she got into the
spirit of it. To secure your wife's undying affection forever,
just follow her example. First tell your partner regretfully that
you're having your monthlies so only two of your openings are
available. Then use your mouth as you just have, and use your ass
the way you saw Tracy use hers when her partner insisted. Make
sure your man knows how very much you love everything he's doing to
you. Make Tracy as proud of you as you are of her!"

"If I did do ... what you say, how could I possibly tell her? Tell
her that a man has used me like a woman? How could she ever
respect me as a man after something like that?"

"Respect you as a man? After your extravagant promises to her and
your months of living as a woman, and after just now sucking her
lover's cock? As a woman is the only way she can respect you
now, Kim. Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you, where's my mind gone,
it really must be getting late. You don't need to tell her.
She'll see for herself. That's how she planned this whole thing.
That balcony opens on both our rooms, remember? You know what she
told me yesterday afternoon while you were in the Palace of Beauty
getting all prettied up for this moment? 'I want to see it for
myself when my darling is deflowered," is what she told me. 'I want
to watch my sweetheart allow it for my sake and then enjoy it for
his own! I'll know then beyond all unreasonable doubt how much love
he really feels for me. I'll know from watching how devotedly he
sacrifices his ass for me. And when he starts to enjoy it, he'll
know how much I love him too, how much I want him to feel the same
joy when his lover's cock plows into him that I felt when my
lover's cock plowed into me!' Those are her exact words, Kim, near
as I can recall them. 'I wouldn't miss seeing that happen for the
world!' that's how she finished up. That's what she told me when we
were making the arrangements."

"She'll be there? On the balcony? She ...."

"She's there already, sweetie. I can just make out her shape.
She's sitting in the very same chair you used when you watched her
get fucked. Can't you see her through the curtains? Wave to her!
She'll love what's about to happen, I know it! Think of what it'll
mean to her when that man's cock disappears into your ass, and your
last pretense to manhood disappears into your ass with it, and all
for her. What woman wouldn't be overwhelmed, awed by such a gift!
Because it's a gift that keeps on giving! Neither of you is likely
to be satisfied with just one night of loving like this! What she's
asking from you now isn't a mere gesture toward womanhood, or a mere
imitation of it. It's the real thing. After she sees you being a
woman with a man, there's no way she'll ever think of you as a man
again. You'll have given up everything for her. Your whole former
self. So you see, you will have given up your manhood to her after
all, exactly as she first asked you, and you'll be hers forever!"


"Eileen, what ...!"

"It's so romantic! There you'll be, two women mated for life in
perfect understanding and love and trust, two of the most
affectionate companions imaginable. Tracy will know that you're
devoted to her, and she'll feel the same toward you if only in
sheer gratitude. You'll have purged yourself of all your
restrictive manliness, so you'll be free to indulge all sorts of
womanly desires! Each of you will want to fulfill each other's
needs in every way imaginable, no matter how many different men
need to be brought in. I do envy you both."

"Eileen, you ...! I can't ...! Oh, my God!"

"There's the knock on our door! They're here. You look perfect,
Kim, just stand there, and I'll let our guys in. I know you love
your wife, and I know you won't let her down. Just one last
thought. This will change your life and your marriage in the most
exciting way yet! Who knows, maybe you'll both want to repeat this
weekend every weekend for the rest of your lives. Let's just see."

"Eileen! Don't...!"

"Hi, guys, what kept you? Oh, I see, you stopped on the way to
pick up a couple of bottles! You darlings, that's so very
thoughtful. I'll go get the glasses and some ice! Come in, make
yourselves at home! My name's Eileen, by the way. And my
girlfriend here is ... oh, excuse me a moment? Kim, a word? These
are very big guys, and they have certain expectations. Don't
disappoint them. And remember, Tracy's watching, don't disappoint
her either!"

"Kim. I'm Kim. Hi, fellas. Do sit down."

"You'll have to excuse her weak voice, guys. She's had a difficult
day. But she's been getting herself ready for this night for a long
time, and I think I can safely say that you'll never find any girl
more loving than she is.


Epilogue *************


"Well now, time to wake up, honey. There. That wasn't too bad
now, was it?"

"Mmmmmmm? What wasn't? Oh. Oh yes. At first, awful! But then
after a while, something happened to me. I changed, Eileen. It
was like sort of, I became a girl, the lovely girl you and Tracy
are always calling me. Someone else. But that someone else was
me, you know? I think she still may be. And then no, it wasn't at
all bad, Eileen. In fact some of it was .... I thought I'd go out
of my mind at one point. When he .... Anyhow, I guess I have you
and Tracy to thank for the way I feel now. The way I felt when that
man .... Roy was his name. Where is he? Are they gone?"

"Gone. Back to work or their wives, I suppose. A long time ago.
It's mid-afternoon. Time you got back to yours, honey."

"To my wife. Yes, Tracy. Where is she?"

"Gone home herself hours ago. She and Bruce watched you two for as
long as they could stand it, and then they raced each other back to
their own bed to take care of their own needs. You got pretty hot.
My man and I took a time-out to watch you, there was so much
happening between the two of you. Some of it was pretty sensational.
You'll wear out that opening of yours if you keep that up. You know,
Kim, you really do need another place to put a man down there, so you
can use the one you've got as a spare."

"I was thinking that too. It was better than I'd imagined, fucking
a man and getting fucked in return. A lot better. I see now why
women prefer men, why most do anyhow -- that never made sense to me
before. But get a pussy? What would Tracy think if I got myself
... surgically matched up to the rest of me?"

"Think? Have you forgotten? That was her original proposal, the
one she had to back away from when she saw it scared you silly!
She only pretended that 'give up your manhood,' didn't mean cut it
off, trade it in for a vagina. She wanted you to become exactly
like her, breasts, vagina, life style, everything -- what could be
a more sincere expression of your love for her than that? Of your
utter admiration for her. And now that you've arrived there on
your own, now that you yourself have proposed it? She'll be
overjoyed!

"I never thought of that! I never knew, Eileen! Men can be so
impenetrable sometimes."

"Do you want to phone her with this news, or would you rather go
home and surprise her with it?"

"Let's make it a surprise! But not right away! We have an
anniversary coming up soon. If I can get it done before then, that
can be my gift to her! I'll present it to her as if it were a
necklace, on a velvet cushion!"

"That's perfect, Kim. Because she already knows what she wants to
give you for your anniversary. She didn't know how you'd feel
about it, but I'll hint to her that it's the kind of thing you most
need now, that you'll love it! Then when you give her your gift,
she'll see for herself how appropriate it is, what a perfect fit
the two gifts will make.

"Why? What is her gift?"

"What do you think? Who else could it be? Of course! Bruce!"

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