17 March 2012

The Stewardess

By: Belladonna

It almost seems like another life now. My old life a top the airline I
owned with my wife was filled with luxuries and success. That was
before I harassed when of our flight attendants during one of my
business trips. All it took was one stupid act for my house to start to
fall around me.

Before I touched that woman, I was the majority shareholder of a
publicly traded airline along with my wife. It was a private airline
that ran chartered jets. I ran the day-to-day operations of the
company, and my wife occasionally involved herself.

It was a trip with a few other businessmen that sealed my downfall.
Some of the guys were talking about the pretty stewardess. I had to
agree with their characterization of her, but I was not the type of guy
that liked to say I would do her or how I would do her.

Of course, this resulted in a challenge to my masculinity. I was
sensitive to that since I was young. It was an unfortunate character
trait. They practically dared me to prove them wrong. I should have
been stronger than I was. I shouldn't have caved so recklessly to their
homophobic words, but I did.

I can see it now in almost slow motion. I called out to the stewardess
suggestively and my hand pinched her rear through her skirt. Her smile
turned to a grimace. I knew that I had screwed up instantly. I tried to
apologize after we landed, but she did not want to hear it.

A few days later, I got served with a summons at work. The corporation
and I were being sued by the stewardess. I turned the summons over to
our corporate counsel and hoped that they would find a way to take care
of the problem I'd caused without too much negative publicity.

It was that fear of exposure to the public that made me confront my
wife about it. I gave her my confession as she sat on the couch. Nicole
went crazy. She shouted every name in the book at me. I admittedly
deserved each one. She pierced through me with her cutting words when
she screamed, "I have to put up with your dressing and, now, this
shit!"

I put my head down and took the deserved abuse. My wife had been put
through a lot since we met years ago. I had met her through her
brother, Carl. I had become friends with him when we played on the same
high school basketball team.

Our friendship broke apart after I started to date his sister. I knew
why. I had led him on. He was as deeply closeted with his homosexuality
at the time as I with my bisexuality. I wanted him. I wanted be held
his strong arms more than I wanted to hold his dainty sister in mine. I
only asked out Nicole because of the shame I felt about my feelings for
her brother, but I was not willing to admit it to myself at the time.

I think Nicole knew it though. In her heart of hearts, I always think
she knew. When she caught me dressed in lingerie years after we
married, that just helped cement it for her too.

That was one awkward encounter. I can still remember the look of abject
horror in her eyes as she caught me. I froze as I stood there in a
corset, stockings and garters, looking like a bride waiting to put on
her dress. We discussed it for a few minutes after I changed back into
pants, and we agreed I would not dress whenever there was a possibility
that she would be around.

The effect of my dressing on her was not lost on me. She looked at me
with more scrutiny than she used to after that. My every look at
woman's clothes brought a glare from Nicole. If she saw me look at a
man, I would catch a sideways look from her too.

Her suspicions all came to a head when Carl finally came out. She began
to examine my relationship with him and its deterioration around the
time we started dating. I knew Nicole put two and two together, but she
never dared to mention it. I think she was in denial about the whole
thing.

I wondered if this was the final straw. Nicole stormed out of the room
and up the stairs. I called out to our evening housekeeper. I asked her
to make dinner while I sat in the dinning room with my hands on my
head. I was desperately trying to figure out a way to make everything
right again, but I could not think of one.

I felt like scum. I had hurt my company and my wife. And for what? To
prove to myself that I was a man? Yes, a big man playing grab ass with
his employee. Nicole was angry at me, and god only knew how much money
I had cost the company.

I think the housekeeper had heard her fight. She was grim faced as she
brought in my dinner on a platter. I took a few bites before I started
to get queasy. I figured it was just stress eating away at me, but I
started to feel faint. I tried to call out for help, but everything
fell black first.

I opened my eyes and noticed that I was sitting in a seat. I was a
little groggy, but I was able to realize I was on a plane. I moved my
head and did not see anyone else on the plane. My head felt heavier as
did my chest.

I coughed and saw my hair fly down over my eyes. I froze as I stared at
my hair. It was much longer than it had been. It was also different.
There were highlights in my hair. I looked down at my fingertips and
noticed the red nail polish over the long tips.

I started to shake as I looked down and saw the two mounds protruding
from my chest. My hands clasped my breasts and I realized they were
real breast. Well, not real breasts. They felt like implants, but I
wasn't one for semantics at that moment.

I noticed a mirror over the coffee maker. I pushed myself out of the
chair and looked down at the identification card on my seat. I picked
it up and read the name, "Rachel Gribble. Flight Attendant." The woman
looked vaguely familiar.

I carried the ID over the mirror. I gasped as I stood before that
mirror. I realized that Rachel's similar features were my own. I
started to shake and felt my gaff. I exhaled when I realized that at
least part of me was not affected by the visual trick I was sure I was
seeing.

I remember staring in the mirror with a slacked jaw, the same
expression of the flight attendant staring back at me. I clasped my
long brown hair with my painted nails and just kept repeating to myself
in my head, 'I can't be this stewardess. This must all be a dream. I'm
a man! I'm a man.'

The woman walked in and said, "I was wondering when you were going to
get up, girl."

I looked at the woman and said, "Where are we?"

"Saudi Arabia, of course", the woman replied.

"What's the date?" I asked.

She picked something up and said, "August 6th."

I felt sick at that moment. 'I can't remember the last three weeks', I
thought to myself as I stood there in stunned silence.

The woman broke my stupor by exclaiming, "Oh, lord. You're not late are
you? Those damn men! When will they learn to use a condom?"

She stared at my stunned face. I started to shake my head furiously and
said, "No. No. No! I'm not late. I just don't know what's going on. Who
are you anyway?"

The woman looked at me oddly and said, "I'm Jessica Camden. I'm
obviously one of your fellow flight attendants. Are you feeling okay,
Miss?"

"No. I'm not myself."

"Well, I hope not. A good flight attendant can't be this spacey."

"No. You don't understand. I'm not a stewardess."

"Well, none of us are stewardesses. That's terms long been out of
favor."

"No. I'm not a stewardess, flight attendant, whatever? I own an
airline!"

"Oh really, Miss. Which airline is that?" Jessica said as she put her
hands on her hips.

"Carter Airlines."

"Carter Airlines? Ha! You work for Carter Airlines, girl. So do I. So
does everyone working on this plane. I've heard some good one's before,
girl, but I...."

"I'm not joking. I'm not lying. I'm a guy, damn it!"

Jessica leaned back and took me in. She examined me from head to toe.
As she looked me over I said, "You have to believe me! It's the truth."

"So you're some sissy fag getting his kicks then?" Jessica asked.

"No. It's not like that!"

"Whatever, toots", Jessica replied as she walked past me.

I was shocked. I needed someone to get me out of there.  I moved into
the cockpit and saw Derek sitting there. He introduced himself as the
pilot. I was going to ask for his help, but the humiliation of telling
a man that I was really a man in drag was too much. I dismissed myself,
but not before I felt myself being undressed by Derek's eyes.

I looked for another person and saw another flight attendant. I ran
towards her and said, "Miss, you have to help me?"

"Why ever should I do that?" The woman asked. I was startled as I
looked into her eyes. It was Karen Black. She was the very stewardess I
had harassed.

"Karen?" I blurted out.

She smirked and said, "Yes, Rachel."

"Don't call me that!"

"Would you like me to call you David? I think that would be a little
odd. The Saudi passengers probably won't take kindly to it either.
They're not too tolerant of gays, but if you insist..."

I relented and said, "Okay, you can call me Rachel, but something is
wrong here."

"What's that dear?"

"I have breasts?"

"Of course you do. All female flight attendant's have breasts."

"I'm not a woman!"

"Well, not a proper one with that tone."

"This isn't a joke."

"You're quite correct, Rachel. I think those men can explain it to you
better."

I turned and saw two men entering the cabin of the plane. They motioned
for me to come towards them. I stepped in my low-heeled shoes towards
them and was seated in one of the plane's seats.

One of the men was Paul Westerberg, my in house counsel. I had never
seen the larger man beside him before. He wouldn't give his name when I
asked either. As I put my knees together, I shouted, "What the hell is
going on, Paul?"

"Calm down, Rachel."

"Don't you call me Rachel. You know who I am!"

"Yes. I do. I'm one of a few that do, actually. Just let me explain."

"Go on", I said with as much sarcasm as could possible drip off the two
words.

"Ms. Black has agreed to settle. She settled below the market rate for
such a settlement, but she had some unusual requests."

"I think I could guess what they are", I barked.

Paul continued and said, "She requested that you work a few flights
with her as a stewardess."

"I would never agree to that!"

"We know. That's why we figured it was best if we didn't tell you."

"Who was in on this? Whose head has to role?"

"Rachel, this is not a productive area of conversation. There will be
time for the blame game later."

"Damn it, Paul! I'm Mr. Carter."

The larger man broke his silence and said, "Listen here, Miss. If you
don't let this man talk, I'm going to carry you off this plane and
leave you in a Saudi Arabian airport without any money or
identification. Do you understand?"

I swallowed hard and nodded. Paul thanked the man and said to me,
"You're going to be working a few flights. You'll be working this Saudi
Arabia to Paris flight. Then you're off to Moscow. Then you're going to
be staying over in Moscow for the night before flying into London. From
there, you'll be flying home."

"You want me to work four flights dressed like this. Why couldn't I be
a steward?" I shouted.

"Karen's settlement said that she needed you to be dressed as a woman.
There were just a few alterations to your body. We gave you implants,
veneers and thinned your eyebrows and gave you hair and nail
extensions, but other than that you're all you."

I gave him a sickened look and barked, "How could you do this, Paul.
You work for me!"

"No, Rachel. I work for the company", Paul in answered in a calm voice.

"I am the company", I declared.

"Not legally speaking. You're actually quite distinct. I owe the
company a duty to negotiate in its best interests, not yours."

"This is fucking crazy. You can't possibly expect me to do this. You
can't force me to. I'll sue you bastards. This is assault. You must
have drugged me, and I definitely didn't' consent to these things you
put into me", I said as I squeezed my breasts.

The men started to laugh. I asked out of anger, "What's so funny?"

"If you sued, don't you realize the publicity that would follow? The
company would deny the whole thing. Karen settled under complete
secrecy. No one knows of the agreement besides those needed to sign off
on it. The press is going to get your side and mine. You'll say what I
told you, and I'll say you did this on your own and made this whole
thing up when someone figured out who you were. I'll tell the press
that you're just a sissy trying to save face. Of course, the public can
believe what it wants once it sees pictures of you dressed in your best
stewardess uniform."

I stared at the smug expression on Paul's face. I turned to his
companion's emotionless face and cold eyes. Then I thought I figured
out a weakness in their plans.

I shouted, "This is preposterous. The FAA requires certification of
Flight Attendants."

The men smiled. Paul leaned in and said, "We got your certification
through already. You're totally legit."

"But I didn't...."

"Oh, according to the records you did. Seriously, do you think we
couldn't find one corrupt person in Washington to get you this
certification? You should consider yourself lucky that Karen didn't
want you to be left in Saudi Arabia as a woman because we could have
arranged for that too."

"Who signed off on this deal?" I screamed.

The men stood up and said, "You don't know?"

"No!"

The men turned and walked towards the door.

"Wait! Where are you going? You can't leave me here!"

"We have to. We're on strict orders."

"I give the orders around here", I shouted. I could see that they
sensed my fury.

Paul calmly responded, "We're corporate, doll. We don't take orders
from stewardesses."

I was going to storm after them, but Derek came over to me. He put his
arm around me and said, "Don't let those suits get you down. Whatever
problems you've got, I can relate."

I felt uncomfortably safe in Derek's arms. I looked at him with a mix
of admiration and lust. Those feelings only made me push away from him.
Derek looked saddened as I walked towards Karen. We talked for a few
moments before Derek called us towards him. I stood alongside Karen and
Jessica while Derek talked to us along with his co-pilot.

Derek gave us the rundown on emergency procedures, how the crew was
coordinated, the length of the flight and the expected weather
conditions we would encounter. I was happy that the skies were expected
to be clear on our flight. I never liked turbulence, and I knew I'd
have my hands full with the passengers. I was a little surprised to
find out that Karen was the lead flight attendant. Jessica looked
older, and I thought she had more time. I figured that it was part of
the settlement or that Jessica just looked older than she was.

Derek gave us a brief statement about the passengers. They were all
male. They were primarily from Saudi Arabia, but there were a few
associated French businessmen on the flight. He assured us they were
mostly fluent in English. He told us the Frenchmen had chartered the
flight. We were told that the Saudi men would not have a problem with
the way were dressed since we weren't Muslims. Derek explained that the
men were 'a little chauvinistic', but that we had to be polite. Karen
and Jessica nodded as if this was a given that needed no explanation.

Derek then turned and walked into the cockpit. Karen smiled at me and
said, "This will be a good flight for you to start on."

Jessica smirked as she walked behind Karen as we went about checking
the plane's supplies. We made sure that the first-aid kits and other
emergency equipment were aboard and in working order. Then Karen sent
me to check the rows of seats and overheard compartments for their
cleanliness and to make sure everything was in order. Meanwhile, Karen
and Jessica checked to make sure that there was enough food, beverages,
pillows and towels for the flight.

When boarding time came, I took my place by the door and took a deep
breath as I saw Karen walking towards the door. I put on my best,
forced smile as the door was opened. I waited there with Karen for the
first passengers. I knew that the plane was my only way out of the
country, so I had to play along.

I smiled as I saw two Arab men walking towards the door. As they
entered, I said, "Welcome to Carter airlines. May I see your ticket?"

I checked the ticket and said, "Good afternoon, Mr. Rafiq. There's
general seating on this flight so please take any seat you'd like.
Please place your bags in the overheard compartment over your seat. If
you need any assistance at any time on flight do not hesitate to ask."

Mr. Rafiq took his ticket back and did not say a word to me. I repeated
the task alongside Karen with the same pasted on smile on my face.

When the last passengers of the all male flight entered the plane, I
stood next to Karen and Jessica to demonstrate the safety procedures.
Karen gave the instructions. Jessica and I simply illustrated them. I
felt like a fool as my lipstick-covered lips blew into the life
preserver. I heard one of the men say, "I'd like her to do that to me."

I had to fight the urge to cringe. I had to accept the comment with a
smile on my face. As the plane began to taxi, I checked to make sure
that the passengers were all fastened into their seats and to make sure
that their seatbacks were in upright positions.

I buckled in next to Karen and Jessica as the pilot announced the
plane's imminent liftoff. After take off, we unbuckled ourselves and
started taking the men's orders. We brought out the drinks first.

I was given that duty while Karen heated up the precooked meals and
gathered the snacks on a second serving cart. I stared down at the
stocked metal cart for a few moments before I caught Karen giving me a
peeved look. Given what she had done to me already, I figured it was
best not to cross her again.

I started to push the cart towards the passengers. I was surprised by
how heavy it felt. I remembered seeing flight attendants pushing the
cart with ease, and I was struggling with it. That was a bit
emasculating. I did my best to cover up my difficulties as I put on my
smile and pushed the cart towards the passengers.

It was not a difficult task to dispense the drinks. The airline
required the passengers to pay for drinks and food before they got on
the plane so there was no cash involved in the distribution. As I
leaned over one of the men, I saw him staring down my top. I felt
violated, but I could not do anything but smile about it.

As I pushed my cart down the aisle towards another Saudi man, he looked
up to me and smiled. I grinned back at him as I was required to. As I
placed his drink down, he said, "You're a pretty girl. American?"

"Yes", I replied with faux cheerfulness.

"I knew it. You American girls are all foxes."

The smile on my face became harder to maintain as I processed his
comment. He continued, "Maybe later, you could join mile high club, as
you people call it."

I bit my lip to keep myself from scolding him. I collected myself and
smiled once more with great effort. I politely responded, "I would love
to, Sir, but it's against corporate policy."

"I'd make it worth your while."

I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, Sir. I have to think of my
career?"

"You call this a career?" The man said with a laugh. I felt my face
turning red as the other men joined in on the laughter to mock me.

I put my head down for a second before I managed to get a smile back on
my face as I continued to push the cart down the aisle. When I reached
the end, I managed to turn the cart around with some effort and pushed
it quickly up the aisle.

I felt a slight tap on my rear as I walked down the aisle. I stopped
and turned around. The man smiled at my apparent shock. I tried hard to
smile, but found myself unable as I moved towards the front of the
plane.

Karen was waiting there while Jessica was fetching hot towels for the
few men who wanted them. Karen smiled as she looked at me. I knew she
saw it. She leaned over towards me as I put the cart away and said,
"Don't like to play grab ass when you're on the receiving end?"

I blushed and shook my head. Karen nodded to herself and said, "I think
you do."

I looked at her, shook my head, and started to walk back towards the
men, but she called me back. She had me fill up the cart with the men's
meals while she took care of their requests.

I was relieved when Jessica was ordered to deliver the meals and not
me. I saw one of the men calling for me so I went over to him.

I smiled and said, "How can I assist you, sir?"

He looked at me coldly and said, "Go fetch me a pillow, girl."

I smiled and dipped my head before I turned and got the man a pillow.
He took it without a word of thanks. I wasn't surprised, but I wasn't
used to being treated as if I was beneath someone. I guess I was
actually. I was serving the man after all.

I kept serving the men on the flight until we landed. We took inventory
of the remaining beverages and snacks on the plane before we reached
our destination.

After we landed, I got into position to say goodbye to the men. I said
to each and everyone, "Thank you for flying on Carter Airlines. Thank
you for choosing our airline."

The men filed past me. A few gave me looks. The Arab man who
propositioned me gave me a wink as he walked by and said, "I hope to
see you on the return flight."

That man gave me a chill. Still, I maintained my smile as the other men
walked past. As the last man left the plane, I started to walk down the
aisle to make sure there was no forgotten luggage. There was nothing in
the overhead bins and only trash on the floor and seats. I reported my
findings to Karen before we departed the plane with Jessica, Derek and
the copilot whose name I never got.

I tried to runaway from the group and call for help. I got to a
payphone and called up my offices, but received no answer. I called my
wife, again nothing. I was going to try to find the US Consulate, but I
sensed Karen's eyes upon me. She knew what I was up to. I thought I saw
her motion to someone. I wondered if there were compliance officers
around us to make sure I obliged the settlement terms. I put down the
phone and headed towards her. I walked with Karen to the food court and
headed to the crew room. We sat in silence as we waited for the next
flight. When I tired of sitting down, I stood up and walked right into
Derek.

I tried to walk away from him, but Derek corned me in the room. I
looked up into his eyes as his hand touched my hip. Derek smiled and
said, "You look great today."

"Thanks", I said with some difficulty.

"I know how to keep a secret. Do you?" Derek asked.

I looked at him. He read the confusion on my face, but he did not
bother to explain himself. Derek ran his hands down my arms. I started
to shake. His lips kissed my forehead and moved towards mine. He boxed
my arms, and I felt as though I had no control over myself. It felt
wrong, but it felt right at the same time. I started to become aroused
as he moved closer towards kissing me, but he pulled away as he saw
someone looking at us. He pulled me towards the men's room. I think I
wanted to resist, but I didn't put up a fight.

Soon enough, I found myself in a men's room stall with Derek. I
wondered if he knew who I was or whether he was this way with all the
stewardesses. He pushed me to the floor. The tile felt cold beneath my
nylons. I went to draw down his zipper when I heard a man calling
Derek's name. It was the co-pilots voice. He said they were needed.

Derek huffed and helped me to my feet. He kissed me on the cheek and
said, "Maybe a little later."

I smiled as he left the stall. The smile quickly left my face as I
began to wonder what was wrong with me. I could not understand why I
didn't fight him. I tried to figure out why I submitted so readily. I
wondered if I was given hormones or was hypnotized during my lost three
weeks. I tried to rationalize it in the hopes that my feelings were not
truly my own. Of course, my mind drifted back to my brother in-law and
that only made my rationalization more suspect in my own mind.

I then heard the bathroom door open. I quickly closed the stall door. I
looked through the crack between the door and the stall and saw him
standing at the urinal I peered over and saw the mirror in front of the
sink was reflecting my heels. I sat on the toilet and picked my feet
up, hoping to go unnoticed. I heard him walk towards the sink. He dried
his hands and paused. I feared he noticed the closed stall with no
apparent person in it. I heard the bathroom door open and started to
move my feet down.

I quickly pulled them back up as I heard another man speaking to the
man by the sink. The man then left the bathroom leaving the man who
then stepped into the stall next to mine. He noticed my breathing and
said, "Hey, buddy, can you give me so toilet paper?"

I was horrified. I did my best to give him the paper without showing my
red nails. Immediately after handing it to him, I moved towards the
door with my feet perched on their balls, about the only balls I felt I
had left. I blushed as I rushed out of the men's bathroom with my low
heels clicking on the floor.

I turned even redder when a man noticed me leaving that bathroom. He
looked about as if he was searching for a patron of my services.

I headed back towards the plane and saw Karen and Jessica waiting at
the counter. I was very confused at that moment. I felt as I could not
tell anyone about what had just happened. Karen gave me odd looks. She
knew something was up with me, but I'm sure she figured that I deserved
it. I can't say she was wrong.

However, as I thought more and more about it, I began to wonder if she
put Derek up to it. I wanted to ask. She started to smirk at me when I
tried to sneak looks at her, but that could have been for any number of
reasons. I could not risk her finding about how I was nearly seduced by
Derek.

Derek came by with the co-pilot shortly before we entered the plane. He
tried to talk to me, but I acted cold towards him. Karen noticed it,
but decided to not make a big deal of it. We entered the plane and
started to get ready for the flight.

During the preflight instructions, I learned from Derek that every
person on the flight was Russian. I remember thinking to myself at the
time that at least there were women on the flight. I figured that would
make it better. I was surprised by how wrong I was about that.

The men were dapper dressers. I recognized the expensive suits of the
highflying class of millionaires that probably aspired to be
billionaires with their own planes. These were clearly driven men who
had a taste for luxuries. They were basically my company's target
consumer class.

The women were dressed like models. They wore designer dresses and were
groped by their men. They largely did not speak English and spent the
majority of the flight servicing the patrons of their beauty.

I wished I was one of their men. I also wished that I was one of them.
The former feeling made me envious; the latter caused me to fill with
fear. I knew I was reaching a point of self-discovery, and it was a
most unwelcome discovery. My self-denial was becoming particularly
futile the longer I worked on the plane.

A few of the Russian businessmen spoke English. They gave the orders
for their non-English speaking countrymen. After me and Jessica took
their orders, I wheeled the cart towards the passengers and served
their drinks.

Some of the English speaking men there with the women who did not even
seem to care that they were there as they flirted with me. The women
gave me looks ranging from disdain, to indifference and lust. I was
either a rival, a servant or a tool to help fulfill their lover's
sexual desires in their eyes.

The two English-speaking women were the most cruel to me and the other
staff. They were more aware of the men's comments and suggestive
language. They were entrenched in luxury and unwilling to let any woman
get in their way, even though Karen, Jessica and I posed these women
absolutely no threat.

I think I did more for those women than all the other passengers
combined. It was nearly every two minutes when they were calling one of
us over to fetch them this or that. There was never a thank you. They
made us alter their drinks several times. Nothing seemed to be up to
their standards. I think they just liked to impress upon us their
superiority.

It was hard to keep a smile on my face as these long legged goddesses
treated me like garbage. I kept thinking to myself that I was worth
more than those bitches. I didn't need a man to take me places. I was
my own person. For the first time in my life, I started to look down on
trophy wives and girlfriends. Of course, I was in no position to do so
on the plane. They were paying passengers, and I was simply a disposal
flight attendant. I was now someone who could be replaced at a moments
notice.

When we landed, my feet were killing me. I was glad to know that we
were done flying for the day. I don't think I could have stood for
another couple of hours. My back ached and my feet and calves felt like
pins were being shoved into them.

Derek gave us our meal allowances in Russian currency and told us where
our hotel reservations were. We were given our bags, and Karen called
for a taxi for us. I wanted to look in my bag to see what was in it,
but I didn't want to do it in front of everyone.

We arrived at the hotel and checked in. Derek was staying in his own
room, as was the co-pilot. I was assigned to a room with Jessica while
Karen had her own room. However, Karen quickly arranged for Jessica to
have her own room when she decided to bunk with me.

We went up to our room and put our bags down. We both took off our
heels and started to rub our feet and calves. Karen appeared a little
amused by my pain though. I got up, went to the bathroom and then
headed back to my bed. Karen then headed for the restroom while I
opened my bag and found nothing but clothing identical to what I was
wearing. I was a little disappointed as I was hoping to have something
more unisexual when I reached my wife. Although, I guessed given my
nails, hair and breasts that such concerns were stupid at best.

Karen came out of the bathroom and gave me a stern look.

I asked, "What?"

She then smiled and said, "How was your first day?"

"Exhausting", I said truthfully.

"Really? I think you told me that any bimbo could do what I do. Are you
finding it a little harder to be so perky around jerks?"

I nodded admitting my understanding of what she and the other flight
attendants had to do. We then heard a knock on the door. She walked
over to the door and peered through the peephole. She opened the door
up, and I turned and saw Derek.

He said hello to both of us and said, "I just came to see if Rachel
wanted to come hang out with me?"

I went to say no, but Karen answered, "That would be lovely. Wouldn't
it, Rachel? I'd love some time to myself. You bet she'll go."

I shook my head and said, "I'd love to, but I'm really tired."

Karen mouthed the words, 'I'll tell' to me as Derek looked down at me
with a dejected expression.

I swallowed and looked at the ceiling before I managed to say, "On
second thought, I can go with you, Derek."

Derek smiled and walked over to me and helped me to my feet. I put my
heels back on as Karen looked at me with a smirk. I took my key to the
room and placed it in my blazer's interior pocket. Derek led me down
the hallway. I figured we might be going out.

I was startled when we came to a stop, and Derek opened his door. Derek
brought me into his hotel room and sat me on his queen size bed. He ran
his fingers through my hair as my eyes darted to the ground to avert
his lusty glance that I wanted to reciprocate.

I was nervous and said, "Derek, I know you like me, but I'm not the
kind of girl who just does this."

Derek's stroked my hair and said, "I know it's hard for you. You've
been in denial too long."

"Denial of what", I said hoping to catch him off guard.

"Your denial of your effeminacy. You can't hide it anymore. I heard
what you said earlier, but then I saw how you behaved today. You were
so naturally like a woman."

I started to shake as I knew that Derek was aware of my secret.

"You know?" I said, in a creaking, trembling voice.

"I know you're a man under those clothes. I can relate. I'm a cross-
dresser too."

"What?"

Derek's held me close and said, "I've been cross-dressing for years. I
just have never had the courage to tell anyone."

"Me either", I blurted out. I was having the conversation I never
wanted to have, but now that I was having it, I figured I might get
something out of it.

Derek responded, "Well, you had more courage then me. You at least go
out as a girl. I only dress when I'm alone."

"Well, I'd love to see you do it sometime", I said before I realized
that I was leading him on.

Derek kissed me on the cheek and said, "I'd really like that, but first
I'd like to know when you knew."

"I knew when I was 6 years old and wanted to be a ballerina like my
cousin. I didn't want to be that dorky guy in tights. I wanted to be a
pretty girl", I answered.

"I can so relate. I remember my cousin's figure skating dress. I would
have killed to wear it."

I smiled at our shared secret longings. I told him about how I was
married and was humiliated when she finally figured it out. He could
not relate. He had never married. He admitted that he was gay, but he
was understanding of my bisexuality.

I asked him about his conquests. I was hoping that he had some good
stories, but my hopes were dashed. Derek answered, "I've never told
anyone that I'm gay. I've never acted on it. I tried to get with girls
when I was younger, but that was out of desperation. I have never been
with a guy."

I smiled and said, "I never been with one either."

"Maybe we could change that?"

I pushed my hand against Derek's firm chest. I felt sickened to be so
turned on by him. Derek recognized my reluctance to go through with it.
I started to think to myself, 'I don't really find men attractive. I
only want them when I dress.'

I was certain that it had to be all in my head. I was associating what
I was wearing with female acts. That was all it was I tried to convince
myself.

As I tried to ponder my feelings, I looked down and saw Derek's hand
creeping up my skirt. I felt a rush and hiked my skirt up a little bit
to show more of my pantyhose covered legs.

I saw a smile go across his face. He excused himself for a moment and
headed into the bathroom. I shivered as I waited for Derek to come out
of the bathroom. I could have run away at the time. I'm sure I could
have. He wouldn't have done anything about it, but I felt drawn to
Derek.

Derek opened his bathroom door and emerged. He was dressed in a satin,
white dress with white tights on. I was startled. I thought about
running again, but I felt aroused. He asked me to undress. I knew that
I should have got to my feet and fled. I knew it, but I couldn't do it.
I could not walk away from it or him. It was maybe a once in a lifetime
shot. I figured that maybe the experience would cure me by eliminating
my curiosity.

I pulled off my top to show my camisole and pulled off my shoes and
skirt to expose my pantyhose covered legs. He stepped over to me and
ran his fingers through my hair. My hand touched his slender waist
beneath his satin dress. It felt as beautiful as it looked. I envied it
immediately. My hands caressed his tights covered thighs while his
grasped at my neck. He pulled me towards the bed, and I willingly moved
behind him. We collapsed onto it. We realized that neither us had
tucked ourselves away properly. We were grinding our tights covered
dicks together on the bed. We wrapped our legs around each other and
started to kiss.

I had never kissed a man before. It wasn't that different, at least not
with Derek's soft skin. He was what I wished to be. I wanted to be that
soft. I wanted to be that sissy boy in satin. I wanted to be more
feminine. It was lost on me at time that I actually was more girlish
than he was.

Derek told me that he wanted to suck my dick. I shook him off and
offered to suck his. He said no. I explained that once I orgasmed I
might not be up to sucking him off. He assured me he had the same fear.
I giggled, and he did too. I suggested we do it at the same time. I
laid on the bed and he laid across me. I felt my dick go into his mouth
while I stared at his.

I wondered if I really wanted to go forward with it. If I did, I'd
always remember that I was a cock sucker. Once that bridge was crossed,
there was no way I could forget it. I'd be cheating on Nicole too. I
could not do that too her, I thought for a moment before his dick hit
my lips which opened to let it in. I sucked on it and licked. I had one
hand free and massaging his balls. As I felt myself cum, I went to let
it go, but felt his legs close around my head keeping my mouth on his
dick. I sucked him down and felt a rush and then an explosion of salty
cum into my mouth. I spit it out onto the bed.

Derek looked at me and shook his head. He climbed off of me and lapped
his cum off the bed like a cat drinking milk from a bowl. He could not
let it go to waste the way I could. As I began to think straight, clear
of sexual desires, I realized what I had done. I had cheated on Nicole.
I could not characterize it any other way. I leapt off of Derek's bed.
I saw the hurt look in his eyes as I redressed into my skirt and top
and headed out his door for my room.

I fled back to my room and saw Karen on her bed. She looked at me as I
entered. She didn't say two words to me. I wondered if she knew, but
she gave me no indications that she did. I took a 40-minute shower
before I came out and saw she ordered room service. With her
permission, I picked upon her leftovers before I went to bed.

It was the worst night's sleep I ever got as I began to realize the
full extent of what I had done. For the first time, I began to
understand who I really was.

Throughout the next morning and during the flight, I was in denial. I
kept telling myself that I was not bisexual, let alone gay. I was not a
cocksucker. I was sure I knew I wasn't. It was just curiosity. I
thought that Karen did not pick up on it. I figured she was just too
busy to notice. She was nicer to me than she had ever been though.

The flight to London was the worst one yet. The passengers weren't any
worse than the flight to Paris or Moscow. They were just as
condescending and entitled, but I was exhausted. To make matters worse
I experienced turbulence as a flight attendant for the first time
during that flight.

Derek announced that would we be experiencing turbulence shortly. I
strapped myself in beside the rest of the crew and felt the plane shake
for a while. I looked at the worried faces of the passengers.

When were allowed to get up, I walked around the cabin and tried to
relieve their anxiety. As I was getting someone a drink, we hit an
unexpected rough patch and I nearly toppled over in my heels.
Fortunately, I caught the back of chair and steadied myself. I got the
man his drink and headed back towards my seat as Derek announced
another rough stretch.

I spent that whole flight alternating between sitting during turbulence
and walking around on my weary legs fetching this and that for the
passengers. Working was still the best part for me because I didn't
have time to think about Derek. When I had to sit during the
turbulence, that's when he kept running through my mind.

I felt guilty about running out on him. I felt guilty about cheating on
my wife, with a man no less. I was horrified to be more attracted to
him than had been to my wife in years. A part of me was calling on me
to shack up with him again, but another part was telling me it was
wrong. I kept telling myself, 'I don't want him. I'm not myself.' I
kept preferring delusion to reality at the time.

It was a useless exercise. Self-denial never lasts forever. We landed
in London and got the passengers off the plane.

As I hurried off in attempt to not get caught up with Derek, I heard
one of my company's girls working in the airport talking about a
possible buyout of the corporation. I was stunned. I ran over to the
nearest phone and called my wife.

There was no answer. I called my company's office, but there was no
answer their either. I was still incommunicado with everyone from my
old life. I couldn't get anyone on the phone to deny or confirm these
rumors. I kept thinking to myself, 'Nicole can't sell the company. She
needs my signature. I'm sure she does.'

Of course, I wasn't sure. I knew that we jointly owned the stock. It
was a prerequisite for her allowing me to use marital money to start up
the airline. I had long forgotten what was required to sell it. I knew
the money from the sale would be ours, but I wanted my company.

I was stressing when I felt a hand upon my shoulder. I shivered
expecting it to be Derek, but it was Karen. She said we were flying
back home the next day and would be staying in London overnight. It was
a light workday for us. She said I should be happy. However, I would
have been much happier to have just flown home that day, but I guess
the scheduling of the plane just did not work out.

Karen gave me my meal allowance and told me to follow her. I went with
her to the exit and headed to a nearby hotel with her.

We had a room together again. After we settled into our room, I
dismissed myself and went to Derek's room. I was sure that he was the
only one who could understand me. He alone could help me. Karen might
be able to too, but she would certainly be disinclined.

I knocked on his door. Derek opened it up and stared at me. I
apologized for running out on him the night before. I explained that I
was scared at the time and that I was wrong. I told him that I needed
to talk to him because he was the only one who could understand what I
was going through.

He looked skeptical, but he let me inside. I wanted to tell Derek what
had happened. He would not hear it though. He demanded I strip to my
undergarments and blow him before he would even listen to my problems.
I begged him for another option, but none was forthcoming.

I capitulated. It was not really anything to me anymore. I was on my
knees before him in my stewardess uniform. He smiled wickedly and
lustily at me. I knew he wanted a uniform just like mine.

He pointed at his crotch as he sat on the bed. I looked up at him, but
he pulled my head up and into his crotch. He told me to bite his
zipper.

I bit the zipper of his fly. I awaited his next command. He motioned
down. I slowly pulled it down with my teeth, periodically looking up to
the man that was making me suck his dick. I could not help comparing
myself to him. He was toned and more masculine and in control. I was on
me knees, dainty and at his mercy. I felt beneath him. I slowly pulled
down his pants, careful to make sure my fingertips touched his legs as
I dragged them down in the hopes that an erotic procrastination could
result in something coming up to stop this.

He stepped out of his pants and pushed them aside. I ran my fingertips
back up his legs and under his panties. I pulled them down. I paused
halfway as I saw his cock. I realized that it was at least an inch
bigger than mine. I didn't notice that the first time. As if I didn't
feel inferior enough, I now knew that a confirmed sissy had a bigger
dick than me. I finished pulling off his panties and awaited his
prompt.

"Kiss it, sissy", he said with a smile.

I leaned forward. I hesitated for a moment, but he pushed my face into
it. I kissed it.

He then pushed my head into his balls and told me to kiss them. I did
so without any hesitation. Than he said lick it. I started to shake and
cry as I enjoyed pleasuring him. I knew there was no denying it. It was
not in my head. I liked it. I was horrified by the discovery. I felt
angry at myself for not being revolted. Derek looked down at me and
asked, "What's wrong?"

"I love this...", I said between sobs as I licked his sack. It didn't
taste as bad as I thought it would, and he pulled my face up to his
cock. I started to lick it and my fingers touched his balls in the way
that I liked when Nicole used to suck me off before we were married.

I worked on the base of his dick with my fingers and my other hand went
to work on his balls. I looked up at for a moment. I saw a satisfied
look on his face that was justified. I slowly opened my mouth and
thrust my lips around his cock. I worked his cock up and down my mouth
and as deep into my throat as possible. Then he shot it off in my
mouth. My mouth filled with his salty cum. I tried to spit it out, but
he held my jaw shut.

He smiled at my desperate gaze and said, "Swallow it!"

I didn't dare try to say no. Tears in my eyes formed as I followed his
directions and realized what I was beyond a shadow of a doubt. Self-
denial was no longer possible.

As Derek pulled away from me and stood up, he did so without so much as
issuing a word of thanks. He went to get two cans of Coke.

I sat down on the bed and waited for him. Derek brought out the cans
and told me to tell him what happened. I told him about what my wife
was doing. He looked concerned. I asked if he knew anyone at the
headquarters that he could call to get me through.

Derek shook his head and said, "I'm sorry, Rachel. I'm not a big up
like you. People like you at the company don't bother with people like
me."

I put my head down as I began to accept my lack of control over the
company. There was no one who could help me. I just had to hold onto
the hope that the deal would not be consummated before I got back home
the next day.

Derek took me out to dinner after that, and we went back to his room. I
did not feel like sharing a room with Karen again so I asked if I could
stay with him. Derek was accommodating so we shared his bed for the
night.

I awoke with my head on his chest feeling oddly content. I hurried out
of the bed when I realized where I was. My hasty movements woke Derek.
He noticed my unease, but he did not say anything. I told him to just
relax and sleep a few more hours while I would go get ready for work in
my room.

I walked into my room and woke, Karen. She looked up at me with a smile
and said, "Gave Derek a layover, huh?"

I blushed, put my head down and walked into the bathroom. I showered
and put my makeup on for the day ahead before Karen got out of bed and
did the same. I watched the BBC as I waited to leave for the airport. I
wondered what would greet me when I got home. I wondered if the deal
went through. After a while though, I could only ponder what had
happened to my life. Karen's punishment had served as my awakening. I
was aware of things about myself I had tried to suppress and hide from.
I couldn't any longer. As much as I wanted it not to be true, I knew I
would never be the man that I remembered. That mask was gone, and I was
exposed to myself. I knew I could no longer run from what made me
ashamed about myself.

When Karen finished getting ready, we collected our stuff and headed
for the airport. We went through the flight routine and let the
passengers on board. The flight was nothing special. It was calm skies.
The biggest problem for me was Karen's decision to make fun of me every
chance she got. She was teasing me about Derek whenever I was near her.

The passengers were a little better. There were some pompous jerks in
the bunch and some courteous ones. I had to give a forced smile to them
all.

As I was pushing the server cart, a little boy asked for a soda so I
turned back towards the serving cart. I saw a man holding his glass up
as I fetched a soda from the serving cart. He shouted, "Hey,
stewardess. Get over here"

"In a moment, sir", I said as the boorish lout tapped the glass with
his nail as I gave the child a soda.

"Don't be condescending to me, bitch. You ain't nothing but a waitress
in the sky."

I was stunned by the boorish American's words. I wanted to shout at
him, but I was in no position to do so. Fortunately, two other male
passengers shouted at him to have as one called it, "Some damn fucking
manners."

A few of the women on the plane agreed and the young man more politely
asked for a drink, which I provided for him.

I smiled at my defenders and went back to serving the people on the
plane. By the time we landed, I was beat from the traveling. I was sure
I would never treat a flight attendant as badly as I treated Karen
again. I had learned my lesson. I thought to myself that I would be a
better person going forward given my experiences.

I stepped off the plane and walked into the terminal with Karen. She
gave me a wink as she walked away from me. I figured that she was happy
with my experiences. I thought that maybe she felt that I was punished
enough.

I walked through the terminal with my luggage bag hanging from my
shoulder and saw Quinn Counsel. He had tried to buy my airline for
years. I started to walk away from him, but he ran up to me.

I looked at him and said, "May I help you, sir?"

He smiled and said, "Yes, you can, David."

I froze as he recognized me. I was certain that he saw right through my
disguise. He threw his arms around me, and I saw a flash. Then it was
multiple flashes as he released me. The camera's flashes ceased as
suddenly as they started clicking, and Quinn held his arm out and said,
"Come with me, won't you?"

I feared what would happen with those pictures if I didn't so I took
his arm, and he escorted me to a small conference room. He drew the
blinds and sat there with Paul, Carter Airline's corporate counsel.

I pouted as I sat across from them.

"Tsk, Tsk, Rachel. No one likes a dour stewardess", Quinn declared.

I bit my lipstick-covered lips and stared up at him as I angled my head
down.

Quinn leaned back and said, "A lot has changed since you decided to go
around working as a stewardess."

I went to correct him, but Paul looked at me as if to tell me not to
bother. Quinn continued, "Your wife sold me your shares. She's a much
more astute businesswoman than you, but I guess that's why she sold the
company while you were just a simple stewardess."

I gave him a peeved look. I had rebuffed this man's attempts to buy my
company for years. I had turned 10 offers down, and, now, my wife had
given the company up. I decided to challenge him, "You don't own the
company. I had to sell my shares. I haven't signed anything allowing
it."

Paul interjected, "Your signature isn't necessary, Rachel. As you
designed the company, the jointly owned shares by you and Nicole were
freely alienable by either you or her, without the other's permission."

My face fell white as I realized that I should have corrected that
lawyer's draft all those years ago. Now, I'd have to build a new
company from scratch or slip into retirement. I figured it wouldn't be
that bad.

Quinn had other ideas though. He smirked and said, "Now, onto other
matters. Paul give her the contract."

I looked at them oddly while Paul pulled out a contract and placed it
in front of me. I read the terms and realized it was an employment
contract. They wanted me to work there as a flight attendant for two
years.

I pushed my chair away from the table and said, "Look, you may have
gotten my company, but there's no way I'm going to do this for the next
two years."

Quinn grinned and said, "Well, then all the pictures of you as our
darling little stewardess will be published in the local tabloids. You
know I've got the ins to get you on the cover of all the local papers
on a slow news day."

I fell silent. I couldn't move. I couldn't believe what was happening
to me. I had two choices. They were each humiliating in different ways.
Either I had to work in a skirt and heels for this slimy businessman or
I would be exposed to all my neighbors as a cross-dresser.

I asked for a pen and put my name down on the paper. I almost started
to cry, but I would not give them the satisfaction. They stood up and
showed me out as he handed me money for my work on the flight. As I
walked out of the room, I felt Quinn's hand stroke my rear. I turned
and stared into his eyes as he said, "I'm going to make sure you work
all my private flights, babe."

I put my head down and hurried away from him. When I felt I was far
enough away from him, I ran to the nearest phone and called my wife.
Again, there was no answer. I had to take a cab home. I thought about
stopping to buy clothes or try to make myself look more like a man, but
the breast implants were kind of a give away that something about me
was different.

I paid the cabbie as he pulled up in front of my house. I walked up to
the door and knocked. I heard movement inside and saw my wife answer
the door.

Nicole smiled as she looked at me and said, "Good to see you, dear."

I walked in and placed my bag down. I kicked off my heals and screamed,
"What did you know about this?" as I waved my hands in front of my
breasts.

She giggled and said, "I thought it was a fair punishment so I played
along with the lawyers from the company. That's what you always did.
What was best for the company, right? I just did the same thing."

I shook my head and asked, "How could sell the company to Quinn. He's
the..."

Nicole cut me off and said, "He's a competent businessman who knows
better than to force himself on stewardesses. He offered me a fortune
to sell him the company. That's when I told him about you. That caused
him to hike his offer up even more. Ain't I a shrewd businesswoman?"

"How could you? He made me sign a contract to work there for two
years."

"You signed it. Not me!"

"I only signed it because he threatened to put pictures of me dressed
like this in every newspaper in the area."

"Well, you had your choice, and you made it. I had my choice, and I
made mine. You decided to help yourself, and I did the same thing."

"It's not the same thing."

"You're right. I had more freedom to make my choice because I didn't go
around playing grab ass with our company employees. You always talked a
good game about the company, David. A real good game. It was always
about the best interest of the company and not us. Well, I decided to
do what was in the best interest of us. That meant getting rid of the
company. It's one less headache."

I knew there was no point arguing further. I had to accept what she did
because it was done. I asked, "So what do we do, now?"

"We? I'm going to retire to the life of a socialite and go work on the
boards of charities. You can go mince about in your skirt like you
always wanted to."

"So that's it. You're going to be a socialite, and I'm going to be the
girl you share your house with!"

"Absolutely not, David."

I realized what she meant, and my face lost all expression. She
continued, "We are going to get divorced."

"Divorce?" I repeated in a soft tone.

Nicole continued, "Since I am a generous woman, I'll let you leave with
a quarter of our assets. Of course, if you like, we could go to court,
but then I'll have to show all those pictures and talk all about this.
I'm sure the local tabloids wouldn't be that cruel to you."

I stared at her disbelievingly. She was doing the same thing to me that
Quinn had. I wondered if something was going on between them. I knew
Quinn was married, but I had to ask, "Are you having an affair with
Quinn?"

She smirked and shook her head, "No. I don't have a cheating heart.
Neither does Quinn. I like his wife. We met during the negotiations.
She's a sweet woman. I would never do anything like that to hurt her."

I nodded and said, "Well, can I stay the night?"

Nicole shook her head and said, "I don't think so. A woman of my status
doesn't share her home with sissy stewardesses. Your stuff is in a bag
in that closet."

I put my head down and walked towards the closet. I picked up the pink
and black duffel bag and grabbed the luggage I had been given while I
was at work. Nicole practically pushed me out the door.

I walked towards the street and stared back at my mansion that would
surely be hers as part of the divorce. I sat on the curb and started
going through the clothes in the bag. They were all my women's clothes.
There wasn't a single pair of men's anything in them. All my cross-
dressing stuff was in there, plus a pink cell phone and charger.

It wasn't my cell phone. I had never seen it before I turned it on and
saw that there were no saved numbers in it. It was new. It must have
been a parting gift from Nicole. I reached into my luggage bag and dug
out a scrap of paper Derek had put his number on.

I dialed the number and prayed for a response. I got Derek on the phone
and told him what happened. I gave him my address, and he told he'd
come pick me up.

He got there in under 20 minutes. I stepped into his Nissan and placed
my luggage in his back seat. I looked back at my spacious home as Derek
pulled away from the curb. Within a half-hour, we reached his ranch.

He helped me carry my bags in and gave me a tour of his three-bedroom
ranch. He showed me the two empty guest bedrooms that he had yet to get
the money to furnish before he brought me into his bedroom. He only had
a full size bed.

He explained, "You don't need much space when you're only one person."

I nodded and looked around. Derek looked at me and said, "It's getting
late. We can talk about everything tomorrow."

I nodded and watched Derek push his bed to the wall. He smiled and
said, "This will help make sure that one of us doesn't fall out of the
bed."

I smiled at his statement and went into the living room to retrieve my
duffel bag. I went into the bathroom, and I slipped into my pink satin
nightgown and walked back into the bedroom. I climbed into bed while
Derek searched his sleepwear.

Derek put on a white baby doll and white tights and climbed in next to
me. He nestled up next to me and put his arms around me as he pinned me
close to the wall. Our faces faced each other on the bed. Derek leaned
in and kissed me goodnight. I turned on my side away from him before
his legs wrapped around mine.

As I breathed in the flowerily fragrance that surrounded him and felt
his smooth girlish body, my cock struggled against my hosiery and the
wall I was pinned against. I felt his tights covered cock nestled
against my rear. I whimpered and turned my face towards Derek and said,
"I can't live like this forever."

Derek straightened up, smiled at me, and ran his hand through my hair
as Nicole once had and whispered, "Don't worry about it. We'll get a
bigger bed tomorrow." I smiled at him and put my hand on his as he
caressed my leg. I wrapped my legs around his knowing that his would
likely be the only touch I'd know going forward.

1 comment:

  1. Next Halloween or costume bash he's gonna be dolled up as a sexy stewardess! No doubt? Sheila E.

    ReplyDelete